Twenty-One Greeting Cards I’ve Written in My Head
By Ericka Clay on October 17, 2012
- It’s okay. Don’t feel bad. That sweater looked horrible on you anyways.
- Your cat doesn’t love you as much as you think he does. Haha, I’m just kidding. Keep dressing him up in clothes. He likes that.
- You woke up today. High five!
- So you failed math. You’ll probably end up working for your parents or at least sleeping on their couch anyways. Probably both...Happy Valentine’s Day!
- Congrats on getting your period! Are you in for a wild ride!
- I’m not sure I liked your tone the last time we talked. I would like my waffle iron back.
- Dear Mom, shorts really aren’t your thing.
- Thank you for spending seventy-five minutes showing me your model train collection in your basement. I liked the sound the bells made. I also like how you refuse to upgrade the single light bulb hanging down from the ceiling. Keeping it real.
- I’m not sure I liked your tone in the coffee shop. I want that stick of gum back.
- You cut your hair. Neat.
- Your lower back tattoo is no cause for my concern. I’ve learned that now, and I’m sorry.
- Congrats on getting married! Hope you like the Skecher Shape Ups I sent!
- Another baby. Well, if you’re okay with that then I guess I am, too.
- I’m sorry I said your baby looked like a shrunken version of Alf. I seriously meant it as a compliment.
- Happy birthday! I hope you like figs!
- Happy anniversary. If things go south, my offer still stands.
- Hope you enjoy your new house! I left a basket full of kittens on the back porch. You
- should probably go check on them.
- Ah, graduation. I’ll just sit here on your parents' couch and wait four years for your return.
- Glad you enjoyed your bachelor party! Sorry about the cream cheese incident!
- Happy Mother’s Day! Here’s a mop.
- Thank you for mending my pants. I’m not even sure how that donkey got into my Taurus.
*Let it be known that #7 wasn’t written to my own mother. She has fantastic legs that I've been fortunate enough to inherit. Now hand me that tub of butter so I can grease on these jeans.
If you wrote a greeting card what would it say?
More Like This
Most Popular on BlogHer
Nate Berkus brings his celebrated style to LG’s premium line of kitchen appliances. See how our bloggers incorporated this style with with just a few simple tweaks. Enter "My Kitchen Needs Nate" contest for a chance to win an ultimate dream kitchen. Read more