I love country music. Shout it from the rooftops! Yeehaw!

What I don't love about country music, however, is songs that rely on gender stereotypes. That BS makes me stabby.

Right now there's two songs I've been hearing on the local country station that make me want to stick a hot poker into my temple. The first is "I'm Still a Guy" by Brad Paisley.

When you see a deer you see Bambi
And I see antlers up on the wall
When you see a lake you think picnic
And I see a large mouth up under that log
You're probably thinking that you're going to change me
In some ways well maybe you might
Scrub me down, dress me up but no matter what
I'm still a guy

When you see a priceless French painting
I see a drunk, naked girl
You think that riding a wild bull sounds crazy
And I'd like to give it a whirl
Well love makes a man do some things he ain't proud of
And in a weak moment I might walk your sissy dog, hold your purse at the mall
But remember, I'm still a guy

I've actually never left the song on past the first verse, so I was even more annoyed to find that the song goes after metrosexuals in the second half.

And is it me, or do you, too, hear "Remember, I'm still a guy" and think: Or, I could just dump your sorry ass and go date a real man who isn't afraid of enjoying art and using a little moisturizer. Seriously, I don't need to remember anything; I just need to not date you.

Here's the worst part:

But when you say a backrub means only a backrub
Then you swat my hand when I try
Well, what can I say at the end of the day
Honey, I'm still a guy

Blech.

There's another Brad Paisley song I'm not fond of, "Little Moments." It's mostly sweet, I guess. It just creeps me out that the first time I heard it I thought he was singing about his daughter for the first part of the song:

Well I'll never forget the first time that I heard
That pretty mouth say that dirty word
And I can't even remember now what she backed my truck into
But she covered her mouth and her face got red
And she just looked so darn cute
That I couldn't even act like I was mad
Yeah I live for little moments like that

Turns out, he's actually singing about his wife. You know, the little woman. Talk about an example of "cute" used as a diminutive! (BlogHers got into a discussion of the word "cute" in the comments on my post Will My Boyfriend Still Love Me If I Dress Like An "Urbane Tomboy"???)

The second new song that gets me stabby is "Things That Never Cross a Man's Mind" by Kellie Pickler. 'Cause you know how men and women are SO DIFFERENT. And it's JUST SO FUNNY.

Lets turn off the TV
Now can't we just talk
Lets lay here and cuddle
Till we both drift off
If we don't make love
That'll be just fine
Things that never cross a man's mind

That joke is too dirty
This steak is too thick
Ain't no way in the world I'll ever finish it
That car is too fast
This beer is too cold
And watching all this football is sure getting old

Blechity, blech, blech, blech. (*Love* her voice though!) Makes me want to go have a nice big 'ol steak and a Guinness for dinner in front of Hunky Actor Boyfriend's TV. Because, people, it is JUST SO BIG. And we both like to cuddle in front of it.

There's so very many country songs I just love - but when these come on I can't get to that station changer fast enough! Any relationship songs driving you crazy lately?

~

The blogosphere speaks:

I'm a Little Bit Country... - from In Her Shoes, first she loved him, and then she love country music.

I Love... - from Donnabetes, a meme of what you love and it can't include the people in your life (but it can include country music!)

A love/hate relationship - with country music, from Maundering Pondering. Many great music recommendations in the comments.

~

Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.