underwhelming my overwhelmed self

In answer to today's prompt, "what do I do to keep my thoughts in perspective so they do not overwhelm me?"

Short answer? Sedatives.

Truth? I am overwhelmed a lot so maybe I don't have a technique.

I am usually the cause of my own overwhelmingness.

I am totally going to make up so many different incarnations of the word "OVERWHELM". I am going to make it different tenses, different parts of speech, pluralize it.... I am going to go ninja on this word. Super psyched for that...


Now back to my thoughts and their place in the world of "perspective".  Yeah, I am not good at this. My mind races a lot. I have lists being written in my head almost constantly. As I am doing one thing I am thinking about all the other stuff I need to do or should be doing or at least should have done first. I am big on taking notes in that "notes" place on my iPhone. It is filled with so many....

I don't sleep that much.  About 5 hours per night. When I get into bed I am unable to just fall asleep. My mind is full. I wind down by doing sit-ups...crunches really. 200 per night. I count and I pray. This seems like it would be hard to keep my count but I have been doing it for 10+ years so I have it down. It's approximately 7 OUR FATHER'S, 6 HAIL MARY's, 8 ACT OF CONTRITIONS...and depending on my sin load for the day...some extra praying to get me real empty in my head. Otherwise...the sins will be in my dreams and since I am only sleeping about 5 hours...well...seems wasteful.

Overwhelmed much? I overwhelm me. This is overwhelming to admit. I feel a prayer-a-thon coming on tonight. I should have bleeping 6 pack abs but I am really just warding off the muffin top, chub hangover.  And it's getting more and more difficult the older I get. I looked at my chubby tummy just today and said aloud to no one....since I was alone..."thank you God for letting me be married to a man who thinks my chub is awesome because it is...in his words...where our girls came from". 

Take a minute.

I did.

I could easily take a pill to keep my racing thoughts in check. I can be so self-destructive in my own head. But I do not. I am living this life full on. I try to keep the crazy in mostly, but it seeps out every once in a while.

If you see me leaking out my crazy let me know. How embarrassing that would be. Walking around with a crazy drip.

My girls think I am nuts. After I pick them up I recap my day for them....they almost always think I tried to squeeze too much in to my day. Wish their dad felt that way.

He thinks I should do more while I "have 6 hours without the girls!!"

I won't talk about that though...I mean really, let's be honest. The dude likes my chub spot.

He's a keeper.

It's overwhelming me right now just thinking about it....all of the above, all of it.

I gotta go...I am busy.


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