The Unfortunate Death of Naptime

BlogHer Original Post

I’ve often wondered what the heinous world of no naps would look like and now that my oldest is three, I now know. Before the death of nap time, I use to have days where I would crash on the bed or couch when my children went down and think, “How would I make it through today without a nap?”

Pre-nap death, I read all the Pinterest pins of room time tips for kids and shockingly, my daughter didn’t care about that. She’s just not a sit quiet in her room little girl. Shes not bad but she’s not a sit in her room for a medium period of time and be quiet kind of 3-year-old. Now, she will read in the kitchen but that involves lots of animation and singing of top 40 songs so it’s some “her time” but doesn’t qualify as quiet.

There have been times where I feel like I would bargain and barter anything to have her lay down in her bed for an hour…oh that sweet succulent hour of yesteryear…

“Would you take a bar of chocolate?”

“What if I gave you a small live baby penguin?’

“How about a box of matches?”

“What about four passies and a pinata?”

ANYTHING for some quiet time and the possibility of rest. If it involves her laying down in quiet, no offers I put on the table work. I’ve settled for her having a show to watch and that’s her “quiet time.” It’s healthier than chocolate, without the singing of book time, and danger of matches. It works.

Now on the rare occasion that she naps, it’s like seeing an extinct animal that’s been resurrected. I discover the joy of the ole’ fossil called nap time and I feel like I’m witnessing the sleep of the rarest beast to ever pass through time and lay on my living room couch.

I suppose the glass half full is that my baby still naps, so I get 1/2 the kids resting which is sort of like a discount at the grocery store. Yes, the meat is half off. Score! Dang, you still have to cook it though. It’s half as good but still a deal so I’ll take it, Kroger. Bag her up!

I’ve heard it rumored that one day all of your children grow and no one takes naps. I usually just laugh at people who say that for hours and hours and think that they must have some uncommon brain virus to think that people actually survive that way. I bet those people “don’t believe in Santa" either. They call me crazy for thinking that I will ever be forced to not have any naps ever. But me? Crazy? As someone wise once said, “I ought to come down off my unicorn and smack you!” I’m not crazy. I’m serious. A world without naps is for dummies. And so far, it’s been pretty dumb.

The Unfortunate Death of Naptime
Photo Credit: Joel Ham Photography


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