I am going to let you in on a little secret here- Some people in this world are not going to like you. They are not going to accept you nor will they hide it. If you get through life without making any enemies-- you are doing something wrong. I know it goes against everything you have ever been told. But it is true.
It is almost Halloween. The time of year when we can put on a costume and become anything we desire-- fierce and scary, seductive and sexy, strong and challenging, or angelic and sweet. It is the time of year where we can pretend if even for just for one day to be something we are not.
Or is it?
We tend to wear masks every day of our lives. Our masks only reveal what we want a particular person to see. One version of ourselves to our bosses- another to our children and yet another to our lovers. We will wear a completely different mask when out running errands and still another when visiting family or friends. We mold our selves fit into the expectations of others. Doesn't that make every day Halloween and the actual holiday- the one day we can show ourselves as we are?
If we continue to go through our lives wearing a multitude of faces and being a multitude of different versions of ourselves; how can we then remember exactly who we really are? This isn't a male/female thing either-- we all do it, everyday. What amazes me is that we all do not suffer from multiple personality disorder. We are one person at home and a different version at work. We are moms and dads, and at the same time, husbands and wives. It is like we must splinter ourselves into different shapes in order to be who everyone else needs us to be. How do we meld all of them into one? Is it even possible?
How do we even remember who we are exactly?
By allowing ourselves to change into something we are not for someone else, we allow their expectations to dictate who we are in that moment. Often we find ourselves in need of acceptance from them in order to validate who we are or our place in this world. Rarely do we go through an entire day- being exactly as we are. We censor our words, our thoughts and our actions in order to gain approval. I have a good friend that owns a adult novelty company. By night she is a sexy vixen teaching women about their sexuality. By day she is a mother, a wife and a player in the community. She is involved in every aspect of the lives of her children and their activities. However because she refuses to mold into an accepted "norm" and behave as a handful of people think she should- she has to defend herself constantly. She volunteers hours and hours of time every week to school and sporting events. But because she refuses to wear a mask to appease others- they scorn her and then try to turn her away. I applaud her.
Because as long as we seek the approval of others and allow them to dictate who we need to be-- we will never live true to ourselves. We will continually silence our voice, our thoughts, our very being -- in order to gain another's approval.
At what sacrifice?
If we morph ourselves into something less then a true version of our self we run the risk of losing our own unique identity. And in the process, we never give the people in our lives a chance to see us-- the real us. Free of all masks, all pretending and variations of our inner truths. The harsh truth of the matter is this; if you are so busy pretending to be something other than the true version of you-- the people in your life will continually expect that version. You will eventually lose your essence. Be who you are every minute of every day. Put the masks away and be yourself.
I will let you in on a little secret here- some people in this world are not going to like you. They are not going to accept you nor will they hide it. If you get through life without making any enemies you are doing something wrong. I know it goes against everything you have ever been told- but it is true. Some people are just not going to like you. Shrug your shoulders, brush it off and move along. Because for every one of them there will be 10 that love you--The real you.
Always be you.