Unromantic, Yet In Love
By And then I marr... on December 19, 2011
I am not the romantic type. Never have been. Don't get me wrong, I love a good love story and have been known to watch sappy movies because they usually have nice and tidy happy endings. I love my husband very much. Probably more than he loves me (don't you dare edit that out, Hans Fiene). I'm just not a mushy person. I'm practical. Maybe too practical. My poor husband is way more romantic than I am. I feel bad for him. He has grandiose ideas of wonderful date nights, weekend getaways, and even thoughtful presents. Ideas I often squelch because we don't have the money and/or the idea of pawning off the boys for too long on anyone seems unfair (to the person watching them, not the boys). I shouldn't even say that we don't have the money. This is where I get too practical. Rather then spending X amount of dollars on dinner and movie I can think of 105 things that we could use for the house that would ultimately last longer than an evening. See? I'm kinda a buzz kill. I'm not sure how my husband puts up with me.
Now, before you go off and feel too sorry for the guy who is married to Unromantic Girl, just hear me out. Hans knew exactly who he was marrying. We talked about this when we were "dating". Our dating experiences were very different. Hans, the romantic, would fall head over heels for every girl he dated. I'm sure he was a fantastic boyfriend to every girl lucky enough to have him. He would call them every day, spend time with them, and spend all the money he had on wooing them. I know this because Hans took some substitute teacher jobs and worked for his mom to get enough money to fly to Texas to see me. Hans had and still has dedication when it comes to his girl. Obviously, because I'm a girl, I didn't have to do the wooing. I was generally being wooed. But that always seemed to backfire for the wooer. I loved meeting people, loved to flirt, loved the initial conversations. Somewhere in between the initial flirty conversation and week 2 I knew if the guy was a keeper. And, obviously until I met Hans, they weren't. I would generally start off a relationship by explaining my busy schedule. I wasn't the kind of girl who sat by the phone and was available to meet at any time. If a guy wanted to date me, he had to find a way to fit into my schedule.
Boy, that sounds completely harsh. But sadly, true.
And, every relationship started off with the guy saying that my schedule would work. They sounded relieved to meet a girl who wasn't demanding of their time or money. And then something would change. They would call all the time. They would send flowers. They would get on my nerves. There was nothing wrong with these guys. I just knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere and that would be about the point when the sight of their name coming up on the caller ID would make me want to puke.
A bit drastic, don't you think?
When Hans started to woo me, my dad contemplated calling him to coach him through the 'Katie dating' experience. There were a few times my dad thought Hans would be a goner. But, the 740 phone calls a day never bothered me. I never felt like throwing up when I saw his name on the caller ID, and I even went as far as to rearrange my work schedule to see him. Despite my husband's and my drastic difference in the level of our romanticism, we have a strong and healthy relationship. I think we go together perfectly. He comes up with extravagant ideas, and after I bring the extravagantness down to our financial level, I learn to let go and live a little. We compliment each other well.
So, while I would rather get practical gifts for birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries, and while Valentine's Day is not celebrated in our house, I am forever smitten with my man. And I think I would miss it if Hans ever decided to become completely practical like me.
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