Update On My First Job Interview in 3 Years
<h2><strong>Open Letter to the Human Resources Director: Thank you for Making Me Feel So Special on My 1st Job Interview in 3 Years!!</strong></h2> <a href="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/humanresources2.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-278" alt="humanresources2" src="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/humanresources2-300x160.jpg" width="300" height="160" /></a>
<strong>Dear HR Director: </strong> Thank you so much for making my first interview in 3 years so special!
In the last couple of weeks I've realized that the full-time writing gig wasn't paying the bills, so I decided the time came to hit the outside world for employment.
After sending out 1000s of resumes, <strong> I finally got a call back to be a receptionist</strong>.
I really thought I had done everything quite perfectly to get ready for this interview. Really... No exaggerating here. <strong>I first filled out your 50 page application online carefully, leaving no blanks, like I might have done 10 years ago. I</strong> then actually took the time to write a dam good cover letter, the kind they show you how to do in resume workshops. Well, that took about 2 hours because cover letters always sound so lame.
<a href="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/womanlookingforwork.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-279" alt="womanlookingforwork" src="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/womanlookingforwork-300x199.jpg" width="300" height="199" /></a> <a href="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/lookikngforwork.png"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-280" alt="lookikngforwork" src="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/lookikngforwork.png" width="275" height="183" /></a>
<strong>YOU then called ME twice to come in for an interview</strong>; the first time leaving a message, the second time talking to my husband who had to roust me out of bed because I have major insomnia and didn't get to bed until about 4 in the morning.
I called you back and you asked if I could come in the next morning to <strong>"fill out an application"</strong>. I thought this was HR talk for "I want to see if you're sporting a tail", since you already had a copy of everything online. <strong>But...hey, I want a job so I'm game.</strong>
<strong>Here are my preparations</strong>:
<strong>The night before </strong> I had to wash away <strong>3 years of of being able to be in my pjs all morning</strong> in my quest to make it to the New York Times Books Review Section (I obviously failed) and the jailhouse pallor from my skin from never making it outside
<a href="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/palewoman.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-282" alt="palewoman" src="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/palewoman.jpg" width="300" height="168" /></a>
<strong>The night before</strong>
<strong> 1. Showered and exfoliated w/ a cheap loofah mitt (note to self: use a scrub instead) causing my skin to break out in little bleeding spots all over;</strong>
2. Put on my <a href="http://http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/7/post/2013/04/banana-boat-sunless-tanning-review.html">Banana Boat Sunless Tanner</a>, then couldn't lay down or sit down watching The Bachelorette while it dried.
3. Had to find my favorite <a title="Links active once published" href="http://www.simplybe.com/new-in/knot-top/invt/qg323el/">Simply Be shirt</a>, which I'd only worn once on my Birthday. I felt this deserved a <a title="Links active once published" href="http://www.simplybe.com/">Simply Be</a>. (Side note: <strong>I bought this top at full price, which was $70.00 and is now only $35.00 and, may I just say, that this is probably one of the best tops I have ever bought in my life. </strong>It fits like a glove and my body is really hard to fit. This has <strong>THE most stunning neckline</strong>, skims your body perfectly and is just long enough) It looks like <a title="Links active once published" href="http://www.simplybe.com/">Simply Be</a> still has this in sizes from 8-28. I must write a review on their site!)
<a href="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/simplybeknottop.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-283" alt="simplybeknottop" src="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/simplybeknottop.jpg" width="212" height="260" /></a>Model wearing Simply Be Knot Top
4. Had to find heels that I haven't worn since the last wedding I went to;
5. Had to have a follow-up outfit in case I spilled on this one or was asked for a 2nd interview.
6. Did a fresh manicure, using my beloved Chanel polish.
<strong>All in all, I was actually being organized</strong>. I redid my resume tailoring it for the minimum wage job I was applying for, ( dumbed down my resume so that the person who hires me doesn't think I'll be after her/his job in the near future) and hunted down a professional-looking outfit to be worn the next morning (See above).
<strong>THE NEXT MORNING </strong> 1. Another shower and I washed off the<a href="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/7/post/2013/04/banana-boat-sunless-tanning-review.html"> Banana Boat </a>and appeared to stop bleeding;
2. Had breakfast as I didn't want to fall over from hypoglycemia;
3. <strong>THE HAIR - See<a title="" href="http://www.hautecurvywoman.com/my-alopecia.html"> My Alopecia </a>- had to use a curling iron on my hair, try to cover up the bald spots (I think rather successfully), and pouf it up; </strong> 4. Got all my stuff together, even remembering a pen, which, again, is somthing I always forget to take with me;
5. Made my husband drive me because I didn't know exactly where it was and told him he had to stay in the parking lot with a book as I didn't know how long I'd be there;
My husband even said I "looked presentable". <strong>(Gee thanks...I hope I don't get overly confident with all that flattery)</strong>
<strong>I WAS READY! </strong> I walked in, saw the receptionist, she took me to <strong>Human Resources</strong>. You then proceed to<strong> give me ANOTHER FREAKING 50 page application!</strong> Don't you have all this information already? Do you ever check your e-mail?
<strong>Whatever</strong>. You point me to a big table to fill out this same application again and I had to pull out my phone and put in a bunch of names to be used as references that are from a million years ago because I haven't bothered making any new friends in the new town I moved to 5 years ago. <strong> Who knew that would come back to bite me in the ass?</strong>
<strong>(Sidenote</strong>: Lady, do ya' think you could have offered me some water? ) It is like 200 degrees here in the desert. I mean, water is handed out in this state like, well......water.
I finally finish and give you the application. You seem to glance at it, admittedly with mild interest. You then say to me that, normally, at this point, I would see the Hiring Partner, but he was away. Could I make myself available later today or tomorrow? <strong>Could I!!!??? Of course. I'll just sit by my phone for 2 days. </strong> And that's what I did and those douches never called me back. <strong>I mean, WTH?</strong> Could you at least call and say, Well, we've decided to go in a different direction or the company is disbanding or something?
So...yeah<strong>...3 days of my life that I'll never get back</strong>; all to be able to answer their phone and take some messages. Well, I'm done with you inconsiderate imbeciles. If you don't even have the courtesy to call me back, well then I don't want to work for you! <strong>So There!</strong>
<strong>Yes, my heart is broken, especially since I basically told everyone I pretty well thought I had the job. Lesson learned!</strong>
Anyway, Ms. HR Director I have only 2 words for you....<strong>CALL ME!!!! </strong> <strong>P.S.</strong> - Those neon Lee Press On Nails were totally inappropriate, but I <strong>could</strong> have helped you with that had you<strong> BOTHERED TO</strong> <strong>HIRE ME!</strong>
Very truly yours, disgruntled and dismayed
<strong>UPDATE</strong>: It took them a month, but I did get that form letter telling me I was <strong>not</strong> a good fit.
That was my last interview. I've sent out more resumes than I care to count, never got a call back from any of them. I even found places that were just opening and tried to leave a resume and, again, never heard from them.
Sooooo, anywhoo, at this point, I'm just getting on with my life.
I've always done volunteer work before and <strong>when I called a woman's shelter, I was told they have enough volunteers. Wow!</strong> I can't even work for free in this town!