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The end of marriage can be the beginning of friendship. When my first husband and I divorced, we realized we were two perfectly fine individuals who just couldn’t make it together. He was a good man; I was a good woman. We had grown apart over the years and no longer shared the same values, interests or desires. No one was to blame. There was no need to cast each other in the role of villain. Neither of us victimized the other. We shared responsibility for not trying harder to keep our marriage intact. Unfortunately, we caused our children pain by divorcing but we didn’t know how to avoid that. A few years after our divorce, my ex met a woman who was perfect for him. They are still married today after 25 years. She was wonderful to our girls, and to me. I liked her and included her in family events. I remarried too. My second husband liked that we all got along. His ex-wife didn’t think that was all right, so she wasn’t part of our life. My ex and his wife remain an integral part of our small family. I love them both. It took a while for their friends to understand how exes could remain so close. Why not? We’re all enriched by enjoying the best of each other. When a marriage doesn’t work out, it’s easier to blame than to accept responsibility. Imperfect people with unmet needs marry each other and expect that their mate will make them happy. I used to believe that too. So maybe the question to ask after divorce is “How did I grow from this experience and what have I learned about myself?” Divorce doesn’t have to be a battleground. You just have to change your frame of reference. What do you think? Check Helga out at http://www.financialintimacy.com
