KLZ

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  1. Grandparents: Turns Out the Gift Was Really for Me

    4/2/11 12:00pm by KLZ
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    Chocolate Milk

    When I was 20 years old, I walked out of a train station terminal and into the parking lot. My father sat in the cab of his truck, waiting patiently to pick me up. As I walked into the sunshine flooded parking lot, I noticed a family. A woman a few years older than me handed her toddler to a man who was clearly the woman's father. "Hm," I thought, "I really need to have a kid soon before my dad dies." A few clarifying points are needed. I was not married. I did not have a boyfriend. I lived at home. My father was not sick.  Read more >

  2. He's a Real Shut Your Mouth

    1/3/11 6:28pm by KLZ
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    In real life, I'm cusstastic.I  mean, I can put a swear word into anything. But somehow on my blog, it  just seems wrong to swear. I mean, my mom reads it. There are thirteen  year olds out there trolling the interwebs. What if when they're not  trying to find XXX sites, they Stumble Upon my blog and find I've used a  bad word? The horror.But today, I'm letting go. So let me just say:  Jackhole. Potlicker. Bunsmoker.  Read more >

  3. Dressing Myself

    1/2/11 3:56pm by KLZ
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    black dress

    I have a problem. A problem with dresses.I know, I know. I don't come off like someone who likes dresses. From your seat in front of your computer, I appear to be someone whose pants come equipped with suspenders and ride up to her armpits.But I have a love affair with dresses. I covet them. I worship them. Fancy dresses, casual dresses, sundresses, nightgowns, cover ups. If it slips over my head and swishes I'm in heaven.  Read more >

  4. How to Stand: An Infant's Manual

    5/12/10 6:04am by KLZ
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    Welcome to Grown-up training. As you know, our goal here is to make you an adult.Now that you've been in the program awhile, you're going to want to become a toddler. We can't promote just anyone to the title of toddler. You're going to have to walk. Toddle, as it were. And to do that, you're going to have to learn to stand.I won't lie to you: it's going to be tough. You are going to fall down. But, our team of experts has compiled some tips that we are going to share with you to help you on your way.  Read more >

  5. Baseball Poop Signals

    5/5/10 8:41am by KLZ
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    I can no longer spend an evening with my family without ending up covered in food.  Read more >

  6. Ginka House of Madness

    4/29/10 8:25am by KLZ
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    This post is for you J-Bode.Once upon a time, the hubs and I were driving in the car. Or sitting on the couch. Or somewhere. I'm pretty sure it was in the car though. This was before we were married, when my last name was still Ginka.That's not really the point though.I looked at him out of the corner of my eye:Me: Did you foof?David: Did I what?Me: Foof, did you foof (Pronounced like foot, but with an f)  Read more >

  7. I Don't Know How

    4/28/10 6:09am by KLZ
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    I don't know how to tell you how much I love you. I don't know how to keep these memories with me. Of you learning to hug me. How good your tiny, chubby arms feel around my neck. Watching you be so proud to pull yourself to a stand - you've been working on that since you were 6 weeks old. Now that you can do it, you want nothing else. I don't know how to keep you safe while letting you be independent. My heart is in my throat all the time.  Read more >

  8. FBI Don't You be Watching Me

    4/27/10 5:55pm by KLZ
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    Wild Thing is scooting his little butt all over God's creation. And he is thrilled about it. Thrilled. Like he just discovered unicorns. Wait, what is the boy equivalent of unicorns? Ah, yes.He is thrilled like he just discovered Star Wars.His mother (that's me) is also thrilled. Thrilled and nervous. Because you see, The Boy is developing bruises. He pulls up and gets around much too fast for himself. He is literally getting ahead of himself. This leads to him toppling over. And getting bruised. But not crying, so I'm not worried that he's actually hurt.  Read more >

  9. Float Like a Butterfly

    4/27/10 5:51pm by KLZ
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    The scene: Alex is in desperate need of a nap. We lay in bed to feed him. His eyes are opening and closing in a drowsy manner.Enter bed left: Daddy.Daddy: "Oh, are you going to sleep buddy? Why don't we all take a nap together?"Daddy lays down and proceeds to snuggle with the babe. He tries to put his arm around Alex's stomach.Smack!Alex blocks this attempt at snuggling. Daddy tries a different angle. Smack! And another angle....Smack! The boy continues to block off any unwanted snuggling.  Read more >

  10. Even the Losers

    4/27/10 5:50pm by KLZ
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    Elvis and Tupac are conspiring to ruin my life. I don't know what the other possibilities are.   Read more >

Kristin Zaslavsky

Full Name
Kristin Zaslavsky
Member Since
March 2010
About Me: 

Sarcastic pain in the ass trying to work, raise a child and still find time to cuddle with her husband. When she's not sleeping, she writes Taming Insanity.

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