Defining Myself

I think we all want to define ourselves.  See who we are.  What is our label?  How do we view ourselves?  How do others see us?I've been thinking about myself lately.  I'm not just "divorced".   I don't want that to define me -- I just want that to be a category I live in.I don't just have a "career".  While that provides for my family, I do other stuff in life.Who am I?Who do I want to define myself as?  One thing?  Is there one thing?...more

My Husband Told Me He's Gay... But That Didn't End Our Marriage

There was an argument.  Which was odd -- we didn't really have arguments.  Bickering?  Yes......but no arguing.It was a bad argument.  That made no sense to me.  His sudden vile anger.  He had been hateful for a few months -- when my dad was ill with cancer and after his passing.  Just mean really.  It was shocking.And then?"I'm gay".And my response?  "Well, that's fucking GREAT!"I packed up the kids and left for the night....more
thank you. this happened to my mom and she can't let gomore

The Constant

There's no "team" anymore.  I'm divorced.There wasn't really much of a "team" anyway -- but that's another sorted tale....more

The Two Different Boys

I have two boys that could not be more different.The Pleaser and The DebaterThe Pleaser is my youngest.Happy Go Lucky. Cracks some jokes. Loves life. Rolls with it all. He is the mayor of his school -- always has to know names/people. He wants to be friendly. He wants to make people smile. Even with me -- he wants to please. Follow the rules. Make the world smile. To me? He's still "little" at 9....still the baby....more


I'm about to be 45. Didn't much care about 40....but 45? Seems am I 45?I'm halfway between 30 and 60.Halfway.Yep...that occurred to me. I'm right in the middle of 30 and 60. What the WHAT?30 was a lifetime ago...and? Not that great really. I was married - we see how that wentNo kids -- what the hell did I do with my time?Work -- hell I was working at the same placeHow I remember it? Unicorns and rainbows and.......ewwwwwww. No need to relive 30. Too bad my marriage didn't end around 35 as opposed to 43. But I digress....more

How Do I Make Him Understand?

I've told my XH.I've emailed my XH.I've pleaded with my no avail.  I'm out of options.He's losing touch with my boys.  He's losing them.  And?  I don't know if he cares or is just oblivious with his own "new" life.The boys still see him for visitation.  Unless he moves it....or he changes it....or doesn't do it.  And when it does change?  Boys don't even care.  They are just "Ok, we stay with you" and go on....more

Mom Guilt

I'm fairly sure I gained "Mom Guilt" the minute I gave birth.  My oldest is 12, so I have a thorough understanding of it.But now?  I see it's gotten much worse.  Now that I'm divorced.Been divorced a year.  We were separated a year before that -- so two years down.I have neverending "Mom Guilt":...more

Divorce: How I'm Surviving (and Thriving)

It's been a year since it was final. The divorce.  The boys and I are a okay.  Really.  Swear. I remember when I first realized I was filing for divorce.  The sheer panic of two kids, a job, a house, etc. Alone in this ... all of it. It's daunting. You imagined you would be married and have a partner that would be there to raise the kids. Take care of things.  Be YOUR partner. ...more
alianora It hit me hard.....I was alone and parenting was all on me anyway.  Hang in there, friendmore

The Incredible Power in Forgiving Yourself

I’ve been away a bit. From my blog ... not from jackassery, believe me. I needed to work some things out. About forgiveness. Embracing forgiveness. I couldn’t really write until I got it all squared away. Public Domain Image via Pixabay. Here we go: ...more
Thank you for posting it. :)more

Depression knocks again

I really don't know what makes it happen.  It just hit last week.Crippling anxiety.  Tears.  Depression.  Rolling on and on and on.I feel lost.  I feel afloat.  I feel as if I can't put my feet down.I'm depressed.I've had a rough two years -- loss of my dad and loss of my marriage.But?  I lived.  I made it through.Things are back on track.  Work is hard.  Single mothering is hard.  Balance is is hard.  I'm not the only one with stress....more
manifatso It IS an achievement.....more