On seeing the ending

Losing someone and getting hit by a truck must be the same thing. It's worse than anything I've ever imagined, and I've been practicing for a tragedy my whole life. Every single thing you do you have to do for the first time knowing you will face an absence that can not be distracted. Every time is like getting hit in the chest. Some days I'm just not brave enough to get hit again. In the car I blast rave music as loud as I can, begging my ears to ring and the rear view mirror to rattle. I pretend to say hello to dogs I meet and I know they can see through me....more

Getting Back to Good

Slowly. Now comes the hardest part of the game. It's so easy to listen to your demons, to worry that if you do get back the awesome that you'll lose touch with this very deep, dark part of you. That you'll never be able to help anybody because you aren't in bottom of the trench any more. And that somehow getting up and going about with the business of living the life you've always wanted is a fruitless and vain exercise. That all you are is gray....more

A life list to help me see in color again

I've been away. Nothing bad, nothing horrifying. No fires, no floods, no deaths. Just my status quo. A few months, a few weeks, a few days on; a few days, a few weeks, a few months off. When I go back to grayscale I feel like Me, the color Me, the Real Me, the Me where the funny comes from, where the beauty comes from, where the hope and balance and significance that make up the Me I am supposed to be are all so very, very far away. Sometimes I go to bed and wake up as if my burdens have magically lifted and I can move forward with my real life....more

Fresh Corn Fritters

Though I'd never turn down boiled or grilled corn on the cob, dripping with butter and grainy with salt, sometimes I like a little variety. Particularly when I need something starchy to go with dinner. Did you know that an ear of fresh corn, a little flour, a little cornmeal and some bacon fat makes the most delicious side dish? Or that said side dish, when eaten as leftovers, can cure a cheap wine hangover obtained while watching "The Meaning of Life"? You're welcome....more

Peach Sweet Sipping Vinegar

You know me: taking a pull off the brine from anything pickled is my kind of hit. But there's something to be said for intentionally mixing a nice vinegar into some seltzer with a dash or two of bitters that seems to elevate me from the pickle crack house to the vinegar garden party. Luckily, another recipe is making the rounds that is perfect for my late summer brine fix: the fruit shrub....more

Fresh Peach Sauce and the California Coastline

A few years ago Matty and I were in San Diego for a business conference. It was my first time in California, my first time at the Pacific Ocean, and only my second time feeling waves at my feet. It was fall, and it was humid and almost chilly. He spent his days in sessions; I spent mine wrapped in a blanket, doused in sunscreen, barefoot walking the cove that the hotel sat on. Many things were memorable about this trip....more

Quick-Pickled Celery: Cheap, Always in Season, Awesome

It's 105 outside today. I'm hot. Crabby. I can't afford the olive bar any longer because I will not spend the rest of my life here, a slave to jobs and location. But it's mind-meltingly hot out and all I want is something cold that explodes with vinegar. You know how we fix this ornery mood? We pickle!...more
@OnBlank Hey you're welcome! Pickling lately has been on my mind a lot!more

On Cooking One Day a Week

The Frugal Gourmet always talked about cooking one day a week, and I've lusted after directions ever since. (Cooking one day a week, of course, doesn't exactly mean you aren't cooking the rest of the week, but it does mean getting things ready so preparing meals during the week is easy.) Does this mean I have to have a meal plan? If I cook one day a week what should I do with all that I've cooked? What's the timeframe for cooking all those things??...more
An easier way to work it to make a double or tripple batch of whaterver you are cooking...  ...more

Fight Misogyny! Send this Letter to your Radio Stations!

(Want to write a letter to your local radio station about not tolerating hate rhetoric towards women but don't have the time? No problem! First, go here: http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/stations/all_stations/ and find your local station. Then fill in the blanks below. It's so easy!) Good afternoon [program director], Regardless of how you feel personally about the contraception issue, referring to a woman--any woman--as a "slut" is so far beyond the realm of acceptable speech that outrage can't begin to describe it. Rush Limbaugh's hate-mongering has been evident for some time, but in a world where we would not tolerate broadcast racism, we must also not tolerate misogyny. ...more

The Baker's Edge Pan is brilliant if you're not an idiot. *Ahem*

As an early Valentine's Day present this year I received the Baker's Edge pan. This little bit of brilliant is a nonstick metal pan that bakes up maze-shaped delights with maximum edges. Everybody knows brownie corners are the best. Nobody dislikes deep dish pizza, where the cheese and sauce are high up over the dough, baking into a crispy, chewy, greasy mouthful of amazing. Same goes for lasagna. And au gratin potatoes. Listen, this pan is a game-changer. You just have to learn how to use it. The hard way....more
 @Denise We idiots stumble upon tasty, tasty things. :)more