Girlforever

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  1. I want to get a life

    11/25/08 12:42am by Girlforever
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    • Sparkle (
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    My life sucksIt's 2:40am and my roommate is so loudBut I wouldn't have slept anyways and honestly I don't give a shit about noiseI just wanna study Why can't I study?Why am I so messed up?Why am I on this internet?What am I having a breakdown?What went wrong?I had 97percent average in high school at one timeI had a dreamI was ambitiousNow what?I'm doing nothing all dayI'm on the internet cursing about lifeWhat happened?I just wanna be able to study  Read more >

  2. my post at some website

    11/23/08 12:05pm by Girlforever
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    • Sparkle (
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    "Hi, I'm sorry this is the only place I could think of to ask this questionHow can I sever ties with my mother?I don't mean legally. I don't think it's necessary to legally sever ties with my mother.The thing is she has been abusive to me all through my childhoodand now that I've moved away from her and live by myself,she still gives me visits about once a week without giving me a phone call.  Read more >

  3. The core of my fear

    11/22/08 7:23pm by Girlforever
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    • Sparkle (
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    There are a lot of things I'm afraid of. I'm afraid of people, books, internet, food, guys, Korea, terrorism, death, Canada, politics, church, God, friends, family, my mother, my exboyfriend, my roommates, my stuffed animal, coffee etc. etc. Well pretty much everything in life. But why? I've wondered why for so long. I think I finally know why. I'm afraid of the suspense! When I lived with my mother. Everyday the violence happened. She cursed at me and hit me. It was what I always expected from her and it always happened.  Read more >

  4. Dear U

    11/21/08 9:13pm by Girlforever
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    • Sparkle (
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    Hey, I know we broke up and I was the one who broke up with you but I loved you as a friend We've been friends for five years for God's sakes! Why don't you call? You used to call me everyday You haven't called all summer and fall and winter! Is our friendship over for you? Do our memories mean nothing anymore? I just tried to think that you mean nothing to me and that I never liked you anyways but it's not like that! I can't be over you Even as a friend and I miss us!  Read more >

  5. Top 100 ways/reasons to be better

    11/20/08 12:46am by Girlforever
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    • Sparkle (
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    1. Drink Coffee 2. See a therapist 3. Take time off from university 4. Help abused children not go through the hell I went through 5. Sarah Palina, Hilary Clinton, Adrienne Clarkson, Megyn Kelly: Strong women 6. Blog 7. Obama 8. My cultural heritage 9. I'm trilingual (barely, but still) 10. The ruby ring my dad is getting me 11. My dad 12. My sister 13. Donating blood, kidney, bone marrow etc. etc. 14. My mock-starbucks mug cup 15. My girlfriends 16. I dumped my retarded ex boyfriend  Read more >

  6. Top 100 things I hate and why my life sucks

    11/19/08 11:46pm by Girlforever
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    • Sparkle (
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    1. Politics is stupid 2. I'm fat 3. I have bulimia 4. I'm mentally ill 5. I was made to believe that I'm special. Today I realized that I'm not! 6. I hate my biological mother 7. I hate it when people emphasize 'changing the state of your mind' to be happy when I can't change my mind unless I'm already happy! 8. I hate this sexist, racist, agist world. 9. I wish I wished to be happy. But I think I find sickly pleasures from my misery! 10. I am the worst procrastinator ever!  Read more >

  7. Change of rules and more ways to save myself.

    11/19/08 5:56pm by Girlforever
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    • Sparkle (
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    Okay in my previous post, I set some rules for myself: 1. Surround myself with family and friends even though I fear being hated 2. Trust God 3. Study hard I thought that the first rule would make me happy and provide enough fuel in my life to keep going. The reason I didn't meet many people was because I have body image problem and I fear people rejecting me. I wanted to get into the mantra that "Those who care don't matter; and those who matter don't care." but I just can't.  Read more >

  8. University life rules

    11/19/08 8:25am by Girlforever
    • 2
    • Sparkle (
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    I went through a lot as a child. I was abused by my mentally ill mother. I moved to a foreign country. I was separated from my father. I've had bulimia. I was bullied. But now I am an adult, aren't I? It's an excuse for a child to be messed up because of her surroundings, but now I have turned 18, and my life is more messed up then ever. I'm 3months into university but only when to classes about 3 times. I still have bulimia. I have no friends. I pretty much failed most subjects already.  Read more >

Girlforever

Full Name
Girlforever
Member Since
November 2008
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