Valentine’s Day is designed for all the single ladies out there — the ones who aren’t married or are newlyweds. And I’m so thankful to be considered an oldermarried couple.
The pressure of Valentine’s Day is to prove your love or at least do a grand display of it. If you’re dating someone, that person is under serious pressure to create a magical day, all in the name of St. Valentine. Whether it be flowers, a fancy dinner or a personal poem declaring undying love, Valentine’s Day is the day to do it. And what happens if you don’t perform as your partner expects (in and out of the bedroom, that is), be prepared for some serious backlash!
I used to dread Valentine’s Day. As a single girl, I hated the feeling I was supposed to have that special someone in my life to fulfill any achingly lonely space in my heart. Why did I need a guy to complete me? Wasn’t I already enough? Apparently not. As Valentine’s Day has moved into a commercial holiday fraught with emotional expectations, the presumption I would become an old maid if I didn’t have a date lingered over my head.
Then, if I was dating someone on Valentine’s Day, the horror of not getting the holiday “just right” was enough to send me into a tailspin. What if I was overboard? What if I didn’t do enough for my guy? What if he didn’t meet my expectations? It was enough to make me throw the covers over my head and sleep the day away.
My husband and I have been married for nine years now. We have two sons. The focus has shifted from lovingly staring into each other’s eyes on this holiday to creating a fun day for our kids where we all get to be our Valentine’s.
Does this mean the romance and love has left the building? Just the opposite. My husband and I remind each other that we love one another all the time. We take time to say how happy we are that we chose each other. So when a holiday comes along dictating that this day should be the most romantic day of the year, it seems silly. The romance of our relationship is woven into our daily interaction. The romance is, while the kids are trashing our house, we can take the other’s hand and say, “There is no one I’d rather be in the foxhole with.” The romance is, while our kids are waging WWIII, we can laugh and find the joy in the day together.
Romance lives in our house. Just not the puppy dog kind. Instead, it is a mature love that says, I can’t imagine anyone else being my partner. I choose you every day of my life.