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We were grateful for the sunshine this past weekend and for the balmy 45 degree days. Someone who experiences long winters must have decided to stick Valentine’s Day in the middle of February. He/she must have known it can be a bit of a rough month as winter seems to be never-ending. A day focused on love is needed to warm up our hearts. My friend’s mother-in-law advised her that, "If a marriage can make it through February, it can make it through anything." Thank goodness it’s a short month most of the time! These thoughts lead me to blog about marriage and parenting. We’re all in different places and have such different scenarios. Some are happy in their marriages, while some struggle. A couple of New York Times writers have recently explored some trigger points when it comes to navigating marriage with children: In Are All Moms Mad at Dad? , Lisa Belkin compiles some survey statistics which provide overwhelming evidence that you are not alone if you are experiencing anger in your marriage. You’ll find many stories as you explore her references and read some of the thoughts from readers. Then, there is Stephanie Coontz’s piece, Till Children Do Us Part. The first paragraph gave me a chuckle: in the 1940’s, the belief was that adding a child to the marriage would resolve marital problems and provide a recipe for happiness. Read on to find more recent explorations regarding the changes that evolve when baby makes three. Both pieces offer statistics and reasons for why marriage is challenging with children. Perhaps some resonate with you. Any major change is hard and requires adjustment. Marriage, addition of a child, death of a loved one, and changes in occupational status are all major life changes. It’s never static with children. Every stage provides new joys and challenges. Many factors govern how the parties involved will ride out the changes (more here). Depending upon your situation, Valentine’s Day may be just what you need now, a date marked on the calendar to celebrate your marriage. For those of you who are struggling, my hope is to shed light on some causes, as awareness can be the first step towards change. It can also be helpful to know that you are not alone. The tips on our website (under strengthening our marriage) can serve as a resource for setting goals to strengthen your marriage, and/or to keep your marriage strong. In Coontz’s article, a well-known airline tip for parents is applied to marriage: put on your own oxygen mask before you put on your child’s. What are your plans for Valentine’s Day? By the way, here’s your reminder to get a sitter :). Do you notice a cabin fever effect? How do you manage the frustrations? How do you nurture your marriage? Coach Nancy