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At our house, Valentine's Day is pretty much just another day, like any other day. We don't exchange gifts, or cards, and we don't make dinner reservations. We don't hold extraordinary expectations of romance for the day. Money won't be spent on flowers and/or chocolate. And we won't be drinking champagne by candlelight while listening to the greatest love songs ever, volume 1. That's just not us.
Perhaps we've just been together for so long that it seems silly. Or maybe, I'm just not a romantic at heart. But, I just don't understand this holiday. Why wait for one day out of the year to celebrate your relationship? And some people place so much expectation on this day. Why? Because a heart shaped diamond pendant given on this one day out of the year says I love you more than a year's worth joy, laughter, listening, sharing, surprises, tears, friendship, and love? I don't think so. Personally I'd rather be surprised out of the blue through out the year, with little things, like a book or a CD I've talked about wanting. Or by finding a little "I love you" note in my pocket once in a while. I'd rather have regular date nights, full of talking and laughter. I'd rather have fun doing stuff together and enjoying each other. I'd hate to think that the measure of the romantic health of my relationship fell on pouring it all into one day out of the year.
That being said, it's not that we don't do anything on Valentine's Day, it's just that we don't do anything out of the ordinary. For us, Valentine's Day is a date night. But it's a date night, just like any other date night. We may go play pool. Or may stay home and have a Guitar Hero marathon. Or we may rent movies, pick up carry out and have a picnic on the living room floor. Nothing fancy, but it's time set aside for us to have fun together. This year, we're going to a roller derby bout (we have season tickets).
I don't know if my views on Valentin's are such because I'm long time happily coupled, or if I'm just not that romantic. But it seems that I am not alone in my thinking. Styl Grrrl at Lesbiatopia writes
My girl and I usually don't exchange gifts because we believe in making every day Valentine's Day. OK, you can say it. PUL-EASE! Yeah that's really cheesy, but that's our motto. We are always doing sweet things for each other like writing notes or cards. Valentine's Day is just one of those commercialized holidays that ends up making those who aren't in relationships feel really bad.
-read Stylish Valentine's Day Gifts for Lesbians
Though she leans towards my way of thinking, she does does off gift or romantic date ideas in this post.
Kate Trgovac of My Name is Kate says
A lot of people have pretty strong feelings about Valentine's Day. Personally, I'm pretty ambivalent. I didn't HATE it when I was single and I don't LOVE it now that I'm in a relationship. It's nice that people acknowledge the significant-other in their lives, however, I do think it is extremely commercial and, in these economic and environmentally-aware times, a little wasteful.
-read Anti-Valentine's Day Trend (and why I like Environics)
She goes on to talk about how, if trends follow, eBay expects to see a spike in Valentine's Day related items listed after the 14th.
MJ Lowe, of MJ's Bookshelf has a little different take on this holiday in her post Calorie-free Whither-proof Books for Valentine's Day. She writes
Recently I've read some "clever, cynical" comments by folks who assume that Valentine's Day is a "commercial, materialistic, manufactured, unrealistic view of romance." I understand some of the sentiment. It can be argued that equating being alone with not being romantic, and lack of diamonds and roses making one a bad partner is simple commercialism. However, the idea of seeking to validate both the hormonal desire for intimacy (which drives us all on some level, regardless of how we express it) and to invest in the hope of spring is not exactly an invention of Hallmark.
The post goes on to give an interesting theory on the origins
