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Sparkle (3)
Thinking back on Valentine's days past, I honestly can't remember a time when either I or the women in my midst were ever 100% satisfied.
The men were always blamed for our Valentine's Day let down but, without them being aware of our non-verbal high expectations, they simply served as sacrificial scapegoats.
Well, this year, I'm asking that we change our post Valentine's day conversations by simply choosing to be happy whether single, in a relationship but not happy or blissfully in love. 
If you're single...
Refuse the blame game:Let's own up to the fact that being single is a choice. You had the option to remain in that last abusive, unsupportive and/or emotionally draining relationship but, at some point, you decided that you deserved better. Don't sulk, celebrate. Congratulations!
Look for opportunities:
While I was complaining one year about not having a date, my daughter stated, very matter-a-factly, that my husband would find me sitting on the couch reading a book.
Her quick witted humor, catching me off guard, made me laugh but it stung a little. After rethinking my habits, I realized that I was not participating in any social events that would afford me the opportunity to meet a man.
Though there are times when we need to withdraw from the crowd and regroup, if you haven't been socializing, don't use Valentine's Day as a reason to feel sorry for yourself.
If I'm not mistaken, single people will be out and about this week, I suggest you get out as well.
If you're in a relationship but unhappy...
Decide:
We've all been there. You know he's not the one, your girlfriends know he's not the one and, truth be told, he knows he's not the one as well. But you're still in the relationship.
If you are not happy in your current relationship, it doesn't matter what he gets you for Valentine's day, you won't be happy.
Instead of continuing to live in unhappy limbo, get off the fence and make a decision. Why do you choose to stay in a relationship that doesn't bring you happiness? Is it because you perceive the previously mentioned group to be worse than where you are? Decide to either stay or leave knowing that tomorrow, you can make a different decision.
Sometimes, we beat ourselves up about situations where a decision has never been made. Even if you can't bring yourself to end the relationship, at the very least, decide not to allow it to continue to steal your joy.
Get involved:
Instead of waiting to be wooed, do a little wooing by participating in the Valentine's Day plans. Be adventurous, think outside the box.
If you know a romantic dinner isn't his idea of a good time, come up with something you'd both enjoy. Maybe a weekend getaway could be planned for the near future.
Don't know what he'd like? Ask him. The old saying "it's better to give than receive" is true in all situations. Whatever you decide to do, decide to be in the moment, alive and happy.
In love with expectations...
Offer a helping hand:
So, you've finally found "Mr. Perfect-Enough-for-Me" and you couldn't be happier. His prime opportunity to show the world (i.e. your coworkers) how much he loves you is fast approaching and the excitement is building.
The big day comes and dozen after dozen red roses, stuffed animals and balloons breeze by without so much as a brief linger near your desk.
The fact that he greeted you with a "Happy Valentine's Day!" first thing in the morning and his plans to spend time with you later in the day do little to bandage your embarrassment.
My suggestion...Save yourself the unnecessary heartache and tell him what you'd like for Valentine's day.
Personally, I don't care for red roses; however, I'd love roses or tulips in an assortment of colors. I'm sure you'd appreciate something slightly different.
As women, we simply want to be appreciated but appreciation can be shown in many different ways. He really wants to make you happy so give him a fighting chance.
Stop looking at the neighbor's grass:
Pass on the opportunity to compare notes with your girlfriends. Everyone's relationship is different. One sure way to start doubting your relationship is to compare it to others.
Enjoy being in love and, along with not setting him up for failure, don't take on the task of trying to fix what isn't broke.
Happy Valentine's Day!
SabrinaBlogs at Much Needed Advice for Women.
