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Michael Kors had me not at 'Hello' but at "She looks like a paper brioche!" when commenting on a Project Runway contestant's awful ensemble. But even before he started pouring salt on the wounds of hopeful designers, I was intrigued by his clothing line. It was classic and refined but always with a bit of a twist. I currently own the perfect black a-line skirt designed by him but it has (bonus!) pockets. Perfect for those of us with a propensity to double fist during cocktail hour.
Several months ago I found a wonderful pair of black ballet flat by Mr. Kors on sale. So I purchased knowing that it would be an investment and because McDonald's requires shirt AND shoes. It was weeks later when I made a purchasing mistake that turned into a fate worse than death.
You see, the average MK ensemble isn't exactly what one would call cheap. When I find things on sale I gobble them up. Especially things that are necessities like black skirts and ballet flats. But one day something else happened. I was wondering around Nordstrom during their half-yearly sale and found myself in front of a rack of Michael Kors items for sale. I was a paperclip to a magnet. A force that I had no control over pulled me in as I manhandled the entire display while looking for something - ANYTHING - in my size, when I found The Fugliest Shirt Ever. Except there were fashion demons in my head that made me think that this shirt was lovely and perfect and worthwhile of my time and money.
And it was MICHAEL KORS. Why NOT??
I'll tell you why not. Because when I got home and then finally tried on my purchase I looked like I was 32 weeks pregnant. I looked like one of those women that passersby would approach and say, "Looks like you're ready to go any day now". It was horrendous. It was a long and flowy and non-maternity but looked like maternity top. With and empire waist shirt that hung on me in such a fashion that the second I looked in the mirror tears sprang to my eyes. On the plus side, now I know what I would look like in maternity wear. On the negative side HOLY HELL, MICHAEL KORS CAN BITE ME.
I relayed this story to friends and family with much dramatic flair and hand gestures. They all nodded in agreement that it happens to the best of us: We ladies see something by a designer that is usually expensive but a designer that we feel like our inner fashionista should get in touch with. Or maybe a style by said designer that we've seen on the red carpet. And if 'she' can wear it, then why can't I?! We get caught up in the labels (and of course the sizes) and we purchase in hopes that the article of clothing will have transformative powers. Because look who it's made by, duh? Of course anything touched by Michael Kors [or insert famous designer of your choice here] will be amazing. It's because we see the label and we're drawn to it and the sale price forces us to whip out our Visas without really looking.
So here's my motherly advice to all you ladies out there. 1) Just because Narcisco Rodriguez made it doesn't mean it will be the most wonderful shirt ever. 2) TRY IT ON. 3) It's OK if it doesn't look good on you in the mirror; not everything is for everyone. 4) Just because it's $11.99 and we're in a recession and you're worried that you will never have money again doesn't mean you need to buy it. Wouldn't you rather save your money for some long lasting cashmere? 5) Empire waists are not for everyone especially if you carry all of your weight in your mid-section. 6) Michael Kors really does have great stuff! Even on sale! I just bought the comfiest sweater ever but he's still totally on notice for making me look pregnant.
HeatherB also writes at No Pasa Nada and she has a soft spot in her heart for J. Crew.
