Veterans make better wives to Soldiers and Sailors.


 I was reading an article today about how women, or men, who served in the military tend to be a better spousal fit for active duty members. The reason being that they understand the nature of the job, the necessity of the sacrifices, and can appreciate the desire to "serve". I used to get frustrated when I'd hear other Coast Guard wives discuss their husbands. The man would leave for 2 weeks and they'd be a mess, or he'd be underway for her birthday and she'd find it totally unacceptable, and the best one...."my husband would NEVER cheat on me and I'd divorce him immediately if he did". Guess what, if you remain a military family for the next 10 years, 2 weeks will feel like an overnight compared to some deployments, wait until he misses Christmas and your anniversary in the same year, and the odds are against you when it comes to him cheating. I've watched senior ranking members cheat on their wife of 20 years and junior ranking members cheat a few weeks before their wedding...and never get caught. It happens more than you think, and you have no idea how you'd handle it until you've been in that situation. Unfortunately, my slightly cynical yet realistic view, which once felt liberating, is delivered with a little less gusto these days. Months away from home and missed holidays don't feel like acceptable sacrifices anymore, not because they aren't, but because I seem to be reverting when it comes to tolerance for the service. Now I'm the wife complaining that he's missing anniversaries, and finding it unacceptable that he can't leave on the 5 AM flight because he has duty and no one can relieve him until 6 AM. And regarding infidelity in the military, maybe ignorance is bliss in some cases...

Lately I have a lot more anxiety about my husband being gone. The weight of responsibility feels heavier now with all of these babies counting on me, and me alone. The Sailor is a handy guy to have around. I love that he has everything from an air compressor to handcuffs (get your mind out of the gutter) and knows how to use it all. During the 2009 North Eastern blizzard we lost power for 2 days. We were basically snowed in with no way to make food or heat our house and I was pregnant. He used our charcoal grill to feed us and then managed to free the SUV (without driving into the bay located 25 feet from our front door) and drive us all to a friend's house. Not something I would've attempted on my own. In the future, we'd probably leave the island before the storm. 
We don't live on an island anymore and my family is nearby, but it's not the same as having him around. It's only October and still 90 degrees out, but with the crazy weather lately I'm afraid we're going to have another unusually harsh winter in North Texas. The fact that it could prevent him from flying home is one worry, but the idea that something could happen and I'd be on my own is causing stress already too. I used to have a repeat nightmare that I was on an airplane with the kids and there was an emergency. I'd replay in my head how I could hold onto them and keep them safe by myself. I wonder if other parents have these irrational fears? I don't even fly anymore and I still have that dream. I just can't wait until this geo-bachelor mess is over. 16 months down and only 19 months to go. I hope God goes easy on the natural disasters in the mean time, because if I never have to go into the garage in the middle of the night to trip the breaker again, it will be too soon.



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