virgin blog. careful, i'm fragile.

I think I just had a senior moment and I'm only 29.  I keep calling my two sons by the wrong names.  I'm turning 30 this year and I'm not gonna lie, I'm freaking out a little bit.  My life is more stressful than anyone I know.  I'm not bragging.  I'm saying it because I feel quite alone.  I find that other people near me can't relate.  Maybe it's a small town thing.

This past year has proved to be one for the books.  My son has Leukemia.  I am on welfare...because my son has cancer.  I get very little emotional or financial support from my son's fathers. Plural? Yes. Two different dads, two different court cases, two different schedules, two times the stress.  I've been dating a woman for several years who recently went to rehab for a meth addiction I knew nothing about.  I kicked her out.  I couldn't afford to live on my own and so I am living with my mother...again.

I know I sound like a nut case but really I'm not.  I used to have it all.  A great job, my own home.  I had everything under control until cancer hit my family.

And here I sit, alone.  Because no one I know can relate.

I hold fundraisers to make ends meet but lately my creative side is tapped out.

Let's see...what else? 

I guess I'm here in the blog world to try to find my way back to ME.  I have put myself on the backburner for a long, long time.  I just had a visual of Yosemite Sam shouting "My biscuits are burnin' !" as he sat on hot coals and caught his ass on fire.  Well my biscuits are fucking burning.  And I just made myself laugh so I think I'll quit while I'm ahead. 

Ciao, Shannon               


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