I’m in my head again. Trying to avoid remembering again. It’s one thing to go back and remember your childhood, family life from 30 odd years ago; it’s something else entirely to look back at yourself after only a few years. To look back at pain so fresh the wounds are still weeping.
I’d rather remember the good stuff, in both worlds.
Reya and I got to be rather close over the first few months in Second Life. We started our own homesteads, and eventually moved to the bigger sim, next to Vollmar. We would hang out in her artspace, or the sim’s bath house, or the Companion Training house she built, while Arthur flew around in his Tardis. We talked a lot. There was a lot to talk about. Arthur and Reya seemed friendly toward each other at first, but it seemed there was some kind of fallout between them, and it I don’t think they were ever able to repair the rift. Now that I think about it, it probably had something to do with our environment.
Second Life, this virtual reality, is still a space that is powered by real humans. Humanity is messy. We love, we hate, we fuck up, we’re kind, we’re jealous…and all of this is only amplified by the game. I think it’s the anonymity. Anonymity skews our selves, our perceptions of reality. Much in the same way being on camera, aka Reality TV might skew or heighten our perceptions of self.
Reya took me under her wing, not only to show me the ins and outs of Second Life, but would also send me clues that the virtual world we were in could be very dangerous. Thievery, copying, hacking, were only a few of the crimes we discussed. Eventually, Arthur installed a surveillance system on our sim, so we wouldn’t have to worry about griefers, aka strangers hanging about to cause trouble. And, with the addition of a few more residents on our land, we had become like a family. Something to protect.
I remember one night, Reya and I were discussing her adventures on other sims. One guy had sent her a dick pic, and so she forwarded it to me.
“It looks like a Shitake mushroom,” I said “LOL.”
She immediately asked for it back.
Ahm… I couldn’t be sure, but I think she felt insulted.
Later it came out that she was, indeed, not a female – but a guy. I was incensed! I had shared intimate details of my life under the belief that she was a woman!
It was all really so silly, and I wanted to apologize right away, but then… other people from other sims got involved. Rumours started flying. Anything I mumbled or questioned about her was misconstrued and reported. It was a mess. A stupid, silly mess, that started some kind of dumb war. Not to mention, all this was happening the same time my husband and I were splitting up. It seemed I had developed enemies I had never even met.
It was the beginning of the end of my residency on that sim, and so when Deathstar told me that I would always be welcome on his sim, I jumped at the chance for some relief from all the infighting.
Deathstar’s sim was gorgeous. A tropical paradise, with an absolutely amazing build of a Cathedral overlooking the ocean. I built my own little cabin, and spent many hours perched upon a lawn chair on the beach. It was paradise. Except for one, tiny, harmless little detail…
It was a BDSM sim.
And let me tell you, as an actress, it was the perfect place to do some "stretching."
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