In Vitro Va-Jay-Jay

I was going to do another rant about how greedy and evil the Wal-Mart heirs (the high priests of Mammon worship) are and how they are trying to destroy American education via “charter” schools and how people are rightly shunning Wal-Mart, but then I thought, “Nope.”

Imma going to write about in vitro va-jay-jay instead.

Seriously, they have grown lab Hoohas. “4 patients, aged between 13 and 18, affected by a condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser syndrome, or MRKHS, in which sufferers are born either lacking – or with a grossly under-developed – vagina and uterus. The researchers collected small samples of skin and muscle tissue from the vulval area of each of the patients. The surface, or epithelial, cells and the deeper-lying muscle cells were separated from each of the samples and grown in culture before being added to a vagina-shaped “scaffold” crafted from collagen, the main component of connective tissue. This was kept in a nutrient solution until the cells had proliferated sufficiently for the newly-fashioned organ, now coated with cells unique to each patient, could be implanted. Now, 8 years on, the doctors have published their findings and follow up on each of the patients. All four remain well. Scans taken as they grew showed that the new tissue prostheses also grew with them.”

The pre-fab cooters have given these women the gift of a normal life. “Follow-up tests show the new vaginas are indistinguishable from the women’s own tissue and have grown in size as the young women, who got the implants as teens, matured. All four of the women are now sexually active and report normal vaginal function. Two of the four, who were born with a working uterus but no vagina, now menstruate normally.”

Growing a new vagina for women using their own stem cells is a big deal, and not just for the women it helped — although that is plenty enough on its own. The successful attachment and growth of vaginas means that other large organs – like livers and hearts — can be made in the lab and the body will attach the nerves and blood vessels as though it were repairing native material. Moreover, the organ will grow when the rest of the body does, so that babies or kids or teens needing an emergency liver transplant can just … grow up normally!

Damn if that ain’t hella good news.

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