Vocab List

Anne Kimball

Life on the Funny Farm

There was a time in my life that I was not a farmer.

Not that I'm really a farmer by any stretch of the imagination. We generate no income from anything we raise/produce on this little farm of ours. Our lives are not dependent on it. It is merely, what's the expression, a "hobby farm".

Nonetheless, it is still a farm of sorts, and it impacts the way we live our lives day to day. Here are a few examples of how our vocabulary, or at least certain connotations, have changed over the years:

Pre-farm
Jersey: the small state with the bad rep where I spent most of my growin'-up years.
Farm
Jersey: the breed of cow most of our milk comes from on the farm down the road.

Pre-farm
Lime: slice of citrus wedged into a bottle of Corona.
Farm
Lime: bag of powder to sprinkle over manure to dry things up and discourage flies.

Pre-farm
Driver: the friend who gave up drinking for the night in order to get her friends safely home from the bar.
Farm
Driver: Heavy hunk of metal with two handles used to drive t-posts into the ground.

Pre-farm
Her bag is full: Your friend has had a busy day at the mall and it's time to go home.
Farm
Her bag is full: Your mare's udder is big and tight and she's ready for delivery any time now.

Pre-farm
Pick up eggs: Honey, will you stop off at the store to pick up some eggs?
Farm
Pick up eggs: Honey, will you run out to the hen house to pick up some eggs?

Pre-farm
Bang a U-ey: Turn your car around in the middle of the road.
Farm
Bang a U-ey: Hammer a u-nail into a fence post.

Pre-farm
That's a load of sh**: Someone has just tried to pass off an untruth.
Farm
That's a load of sh**: Someone has just sprayed a load of liquified manure onto the neighboring field.

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