Waffles vs. Spaghetti: The Breakdown of Communication Between Men and Women
By Kathryn W. on October 08, 2010
So I have this theory...actually, my husband told me about this theory a long time ago and neither of us can remember where it came from. It is entirely possible that some great mind came up with it, but all I know is that it is a relatively simple concept that helps me understand why my husband has no idea what I'm talking about sometimes.
Let me explain. The theory is this: Men's brains are like waffles. Everything has its own special compartment. Thought A may be completely separate from Thought B. They are held in different compartments and, in his mind, have no reason to be connected. Women, on the other hand, are like spaghetti. Our thoughts are all connected, even if sometimes the connections are hard to follow. Thought A is most certainly connected to Thought B, and there are probably a lot of other mental side notes in between.
Confused yet? Good.
Think of it like this: When a man asks a woman, "Will you please bring me that stack of papers on the coffee table?" A woman will bring him the stack of papers, and a pen to write with, and notice the coffee table needs dusting, and that they should really get new coasters, etc, etc, etc. However, if a woman asks a man , "Will you please bring me that stack of papers on the coffee table?" A man will bring her the stack of papers and that will be it. I am not at all trying to imply that his mind simply goes blank, but it certainly reverts back to whatever else he was doing before the request. There are no new worries, no new mental "to-do" list, just a task he has done for his wife. The end.
This is also why, for some couples, after talking about something serious before bed, a man can lean over and turn out the light and be asleep in seconds, while his wife will stare at the ceiling in a fit of worry for the next several hours. He is not being insensitive. He's just a waffle. He can't help it.
I should say that I actually wrote about this topic on my blog a while back, and one of my male friends had something to add that I found humorous. He said, "Don't be misled, though. I mean, some men are like Eggos, but me? I'm like a Belgian waffle, my compartments are nice and deep." At this my brother-in-law added, "I'm like a pancake, because all my compartments are full and there is no more room." He was under a bit of stress at the time. It was still funny.
So contemplate that the next time you and your husband/boyfriend/significant other have a breakdown in communication. My disclaimer here is that this does not apply to all men, or all women. It works for my relationship, though. Often, when I make a comment that confuses my husband, he will look at me quizzically and say, "You're being spaghetti. How did you get there from what we were talking about?" I then explain my train of thought, and he sits there amazed as I connect the dots. The thing is, my husband is actually quite intelligent, it's just that he is a waffle, so making dinner and vacuuming the bedroom have nothing to do with each other in his mind.
What do you think? Are you spaghetti? Is your husband/boyfriend/significant other a waffle? Do you disagree with the theory completely? Do you have a different theory that you would like to share?
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