Wake up, Rinse, Repeat
Some days it just feels like you're doing the same things over and over again.
Wake up. Make a bottle. Stick the bottle in the mouth. Sleep a few more minutes. Try to wake up the baby. Get in the shower. Dry hair. Get dressed. Hand off baby. Leave the house while praying your shoes match but not really caring. Go to work. Clock in. Pick up the overflow of crap in your mailbox. Do that. Eat lunch. Do some more work. Go home. Frantically get everything ready for tomorrow. Try to fit in some play time (which is EASY, I would say the easiest thing to do all day). Get the baby ready for bed. Also fun. Most of the time. Go to sleep as soon as the baby does. Wake up. Repeat.
It isn't that I want to complain about my life or my days. I just feel like some times we get so bogged down in the mundane bullshit that we forget the really fun stuff. Did you see how precious little time I managed to get for play time? Seriously, there is no way that is enough. And for me to feel like I am in "repeater" mode already with it just being Tuesday I know I'm in for a long week. Not a long week of fun, either. A long week of the mundane, boring stuff, especially at work, where mostly I wish there was more time for fun stuff. Or just the stuff that we need to get done around the house. Like knock down the forest of weeds that is growing in the garden. Getting the carpet cleaned (we will pay someone to do this, so why is it so hard to get it done?). And on and on and on, with never ending incessant need to do more with less time.
I really find that it is the working part that bogs me down. If it weren't for working, I would have as much time as I wanted, within the same twenty-four hour a day constraints as the rest of the world, of course. Work is where I really find everything gets stuck in repeat. It can be like a never-ending cycle of the same day over and over, much like in the movie Ground Hog Day. And yet I must work. We need the financial stability it provides, the insurance that provides us with preventative care and vaccines. It seems sometimes like so little and yet without it where would we be?
The question at hand, I suppose, is how do you fit it all into a single day? How do you balance all the things that you have to do with all of the things that you want to do? I want more time to show my daughter mushrooms growing in the yard. More time to let her hold a leaf in her hand and wonder at the little and amazing thing that simple leaf is. I want more time. I need more time. It slips away so quickly, like the grains of sand washing out to sea with the ebb and flow of the tide. I just want to cherish my daughter and the clock just keeps ticking.