Would You Let Your Six-Year-Old Walk Home Alone?

And...even my Mom, who was raised in the South during the Great Depression told me about how even way back then (when everyone thought it was 'safe'), she was about 8 or 9 years old, and walking home from school alone through the woods once (usually she was in a group of a bunch of kids, including older siblings, but this one time she was all alone on her own).  An adult man, a neighborhood friend of her Father's was working chopping wood, noticed her and waived to her to come over to him from the path.  She stopped to say hi, and he invited her to sit down.  He casually talked to her, and then reached over to touch her in a weird creepy way (her own words to me) and she got uncomfortable, and ran off (thank goodness she had her gut instinct and wits about her!) quickly home.  Thank God she escaped.  Anyway, you must realize that these pedos are out there EVERYWHERE, and it's OUR JOB to protect our children.

Additionally, you have to know that predators are constantly watching for a child alone to victimize - so it's our job to *prevent* an abduction from happening.  Duh.  Just basic, common sense people!  Come on!

NO.  Not under any circumstances would I *ever* allow my 6 year old to walk home alone from anywhere.  Etan Patz and Leiby Kletzky are just two examples of kids who were allowed for the *first time* to walk to or from a destination alone, and met with deadly circumstances.  Why can't people (parents, guardians, caretakers) just use common sense???  If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and sounds like a duck - it probably is.  Just observe the obvious.

Wow, did you ever get a discussion moving! Good job! Safety is what I do, I teach it, speak nationally, wrote the only parent/teacher curriculum and literally wrote the book on the subject. Since 1994 I have heard parents and teachers with takes like these, on the subject... So hear is my two cents, Any child/ teen walking alone could become a target. All parents should begin safety education prior to school. Every child can benefit by understanding what is good and bad behavior, what tricky, and bad behavior looks or sounds like. Any group of children displaying awareness skills will probably never become targets of people with bad behavior. My favorite ideas from below that agree with my basic philosophy- -Know your neighbors, and check familywatchdog.us/ -Get a group of kids walking together, packs =safety -Teach your child safety, safety skills, yelling ,breakaways etc. -I do like the gps items, they work. -I agree in children's obesity being a national problem -say No to bad behavior, Go and Tell a trusted adult. If together we can produce a safer generation, full of safety conscious young people, we end up with less worried parents, free ranging groups of kids, who play together, aware of their surroundings, and capable of saving themelves if they ever need to. Having a safety plan turns a child's "fright time into flight time" Melinda Reynolds Tripp - Author/ Educator What Should You Do? Helping Children Protect Themselves in the Twenty- First Century, Tate Publishing 2010 Visit my Teachsafety blog at http:/melindatripp.wordpress.com School Assemblies Series- Abduction Prevention and Situational Safety for K-8

when me and my siblings are at this age, we walk home from school that is about 3 blocks away but these days, my niece, 7 is not yet allowed to walk from school and my nephew 10, was only allowed a year ago, and we still live in the same neighborhood. i'm not really sure what changed why their parents are not comfortable in letting them walk from school while the place we live in is pretty safe.

If you're not comfortable, you have to listen to that BUT you also have to listen to your daughter. She's hearing you say that you don't trust her, that you think she can't do it. Find a way to give her that freedom in a safer environment.

Kids need to learn that they can do things even when they feel a little scared. I have a friend who stayed in a job she despised and was ruining her marriage for 12 years because she was scared to put in an application at the place she wanted to work at. She figured if she was scared it meant she shouldn't do it. Once I told her that the only way to get what you want was to know how to move forward despite being scared, she made the plunge and it changed her life.

Give your daughter that power - why not walk to the corner and tell her she can walk by herself to the corner. Then you can walk to the corner and when you see her step off, back up a little so she doesn't see you until she gets to the corner. She'll feel proud she's walking 'alone' and you'll feel secure you know where she is.

Yes, I do agree with Lucinda A saying that “Age is not the only factor to consider but as a parent we need to consider a lot of it before we let our kids walk home alone”. Since safety of our kids is our top priority as a parent, I would say No, to let our six years old kid walk home alone. Thus, I don’t allow my nine years old son to walk home alone. I always drive him to school if I’m not that busy, or else I usually pick him up at the bus stop or if in such an emergency situation, I ask any adults in my family to take him to and from school. I am also confident doing this because I provided him a safety solution to safeguard my son if I’m not around. It’s a mobile personal safety that has a panic button to press wherein my son could ask immediate help, if in case he is in danger. It notifies me and my family if in such an emergency situation arise. This is how I protect my kids check this out http://safekidzone.com/

I have a 10yo and 6yo that get dropped off at the end of our dead end street. If no one is there to pick them up, the bus brings them back to school and we get nasty messages on all our phones to pick them up there. The bus driver will simply not let them walk home by themselves. This is safe neighborhood with very little traffic.

This policy is totally ridiculous because our 10yo (who is 5ft tall) is perfectly capable of walking himself and his sister home. If it were just my 1st grader, I could understand.

If it were their choice however, I still would lean toward the free range as long as they are comfortable with it and know basic safety rules.

Angela at mommy bytes ( http://www.mommybytes.com )

Absolutely not. First, we live on a very busy street. Second, two blocks over there are about 10 sex offenders (apartment building). Then about 4 blocks over the other way there are more sex offenders (more apartment buildings).

You can talk numbers all you want -- not going to happen. (Also a non issue since my daughter attend Catholic school and I have to drive her there).

Last year, a neighbor friend offered to have her 10 year old walk my Kindergartener home from the bus stop every day. I'd just had a baby and 3pm is when both of my littler kids nap. It worked out wonderfully.

This year, I decided to try letting him walk home alone. The bus stop is 4 houses away and through a small park. He walks through the park and I can instantly see him from my front porch. We live in a very safe neighborhood (albeit we are in a large city: Phoenix) and I'm comfortable with it now.

I was a latch-key kid when I was 8, waiting for my dad to get home from work for 20 minutes alone every day. I realize that's unheard of in 2010, but I truly think your decision should depends on where you live. A small town in Nebraska is very different from downtown Atlanta.

You can't protect her forever, but at the same time, if you're not comfortable with it, stay firm on that boundary. Just don't stay firm until she's 20! :)

We live in more dangerous times. Remember that Jaycee Duggard was kidnapped in front of her stepfather when she was 11!

Elena,

"If you bungle raising your children, nothing else much matters." Jackie Kennedy

I have three little girls-9,7 and 4. I don't let them walk around the block unattended in a group of 8. Just yesterday the younger two, plus another neighbor decided it would be a good idea to divide a piece of candy they found ON THE GROUND that a neighbors dog HAD BEEN CHEWING ON, and EAT IT! Let's just say decision making at this age is null and void.

You're baby came home safe and sound. We all make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up about it. But six is far, far too young is to be alone anywhere. Great post!

http://threehautemamas.typepad.com/blog/

I'd let my boy walk home from the bus stop (he just turned 7) if the bus didn't already drop the kids off at the end of the driveway.

BUT...I live in a town of 5k residents, on a dead end road, that is off a dead end, which is off *another* dead end. If the kids didn't have a stop at our driveway, they'd be waiting at the corner of our road. It's a residential neighborhood, and the kind of place where we know everyone and we all look out for each others kids.

I think I might have a different approach if we lived in a less rural area, but I don't really know...

~Margaret

Just Margaret ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com )

I trust my son who is 8 almost 9, I trust my neighbours but all it takes is for a car/van to pull up next to him and someone to jump out and grab him. That's it he will be gone.

Please do not allow her to. It makes no difference on what street you live in, what your neighbours are like. You can't control traffic, you have no control on who can drive next to her, walk next to her, cycle next to her.

It's simply not worth it.

Same goes for those who think that travelling in packs of kids will be safe, a group of 6, 7 8yos have nothing on a couple of grown adults who can simply push the others aside.

Sorry but my father worked in the Supreme Court and heard stories after stories of children being abducted.

although 30-some years ago my sons walked a mile home alone when they were around that age. Times have changed, unfortunately, and now I would not even consider allowing a child to do that. Every day the news has a story about a child being abducted; often the outcome is too terrible to think about.

Trust your instincts--they're right on track. You are a good mother. Your instincts will not mislead you. Children do not know what is best for them, even though they think they do; that's why they have mothers and fathers.

Granny Sue Stories from the Mountains and Beyond www.grannysu.blogspot.com ( http://www.grannysu.blogspot.com ) susannaholstein@yahoo.com

... and my response to her is exactly like yours. No.

But instead of the "you're too young" thing, I tell her she's too short. I tell her that I know she's grown up enough, but the buses and cars (and Hummers and pickups, I do live in Texas, after all) are so high off the ground, I'm afraid that the drivers won't see her if she's in front of them.

It's a bogus argument, but so far, it seems to be working.

We'll see what happens when she's 7. ;)

______

Karen Walrond is a writer and photographer in Houston, Texas, and the author of the upcoming book, The Beauty of Different ( http://www.amazon.com/Beauty-Different-Karen-Walrond/dp/1933979968/?tag=chookooloonks-20 ). You can read more about her life at Chookooloonks ( http://www.chookooloonks.com/blog ).

I honestly would tell your daughter that it's not HER that you don't trust--it's the crazy drivers who are texting, talking, and just not paying attention while driving. Honestly, our bus stop is three houses away--with a road to cross in between--and I don't let our 9 and 5-year-old walk home by themselves. When our daughter was a baby and I was walking her in the stroller in our neighborhood, we were almost hit--because a woman was driving with a broken leg AND talking on the phone--and swerved toward us.

Just hug your daughter and tell her you know how smart and independent she is--but that she is so precious to you that you can't take the risk. Don't beat yourself up about the early dismissal--stuff happens. I missed the bus one day because our youngest was in the bathroom--but the driver didn't let our daughter off the bus. She dropped off the other kids and came back. I'm really surprised the bus driver let your daughter off by herself. I think in our school district, the protocol is to take the child back to school and call the parents.

Why do our babies want to grow up so quickly???

I can't/won't at six. I just can't. It's totally my issue. I acknowledge that. But no. End of discussion.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

Our bus drops off right in front of my house, but I've had that kid-goes-missing-and-everyone-drops-everything situation happen, too -- not with my kid but with the neighbor's. I let my girl go across two streets to play with the neighbor kids and they rove in a pack from time to time -- the oldest is around 12 and the youngest is five.

I think it very much depends on the neighborhood and the type of street it is and the maturity level of the kid.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

...try to find a middle ground if you can. You could watch her walk. It may loose it's appeal after awhile. This would have terrified me too.

I would probably not have posted anything about it on Facebook depending on how well you know your "friends" in town. I realize most places are very safe but I would not have done that where I live--L.A.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

I let my 5 year old (preschooler) and my 3 year old run the neighborhood. They aren't allowed to cross the street, but they are allowed to run down to the neighbor's (3 doors down) or the other neighbor's (3 doors the other direction) and play with the girls who live there. We have several rules that they both know. My dad is moving into our neighborhood 6 doors down, and when he does they'll be allowed to cross the street (together) to go see him.

I have a list of 9 phone numbers of neighbors on my fridge, and when I want them home I call the other mother and she sends them home.

The other day, the 4 year old who lives 3 doors down got lost - her sisters thought she was here, and she wasn't - and everyone dropped everything. My husband and I went outside to look for her, I called her mother, the neighbors in between were outside and they started knocking on doors. We found her in her own backyard in the hammock. It took all of 5 minutes, but it reaffirmed what I've long suspected - that I know my neighbors, they're good people, and that we are all watching out for each other and each others' kids.

The school bus stops right in front of my house. Just this morning I heard more noise than usual, so I peeked out. The new boys in the neighborhood were playing a little roughly with each other, but no one seemed to be in any danger, so I just watched a minute until they started cheering because the bus had rounded the corner. If they had been beating each other up, I would have intervened.

Several of the older kids in the neighborhood are latch-key kids, and they know to come here (because I'm at home) if they ever have problems, and they and their parents know that I will take care of them.

It's called "community."

So no, I wouldn't let your daughter walk home from the bus stop tomorrow, but if you make an effort to get to know your neighbors (particularly the ones who live between you and the bus stop, and the older kids in the neighborhood) you might find that you can actually trust your community. And your daughter will benefit from the freedom and responsibility.

 http://prettybabies.blogspot.com

Age is not the only factor to consider. Where you live, how far they are walking, how busy the streets are, the size of town, etc. are also factors I would consider.

In our town, my daughter did not walk home from the bus stop but that was because she had to cross a wide street that college kids took very fast and had a blind corner. If the stop had been in the other direction and she had wanted to, yes I would have let her walk home at 6. At 9 she now walks home from the school which includes crossing a highway with a crossing guard.

The truth is, most kids are perfectly safe walking home if they walk in groups. So that would probably be my first question. Although if she is just walking down the street and around the corner, that really isn't very far. I think that often we need to question whether or not the bigger issue isn't safety but our own comfort level. If it's my own comfort level and not reality that's stopping me, I try to push myself and grant my child the freedom they are requesting. Good luck with this decision.

First, you've got to give yourself a break about forgetting it was early dismissal. These things happen. She did get home safely thank God, and it's done. (And she got a day of happiness, by accident. lol).

But there is no way in hell I'd let a little girl (or boy) that young walk home alone. There is the most horrific news just about every single day about children being abducted, sexually abused, beaten, killed. It's our job to do ALL we can, to protect them from the predators that ARE out there, everywhere.

I believe even at 6, she does know the safety rules. I bet she'd look both ways, stay on the side, and not 'get in' a strangers car or even talk to a stranger. But at her size, she can be very easily overpowered. Quickly, and possibly without any witness or trace of her.

If I were you, I'd stick with your gut reflex answer: "No, child." And to answer to the "Why not?" You can simply say, "Because I love you too much to take the chance."

~ Laura (a.k.a. LLR) www.ourhouseofjoyfulnoise.com ( http://www.ourhouseofjoyfulnoise.com )

Six might be a little young, although I walked home from the bus stop when I was six. My eight-year-old son would like to walk home from the bus stop and the school policy is that if a parent is not there they take the kid back to the school. Our house is five houses down from the head of our street, which is a dead end dirt road, and I know all my neighbors. I would be fine letting him walk home from school. He has a friend who lives at the end of our road, which is further away than the bus stop, and I let him ride his bike down to his house.
I think that you have to know your child and your neighborhood and feel comfortable with it.
Perhaps you could meet her halfway. Literally. You could walk to that corner - where you can see the bus and her getting off but not be all the way to the stop. She gets a little freedom and you still have piece of mind.

Our school is a few blocks away, and I wouldn't let my five-year-old or even my nine-year-old walk home alone. It may be overprotective, but I would rather err on the side of caution.

Cristina
Working Mom, Democrat, Patriot ( http://workingmomdemocrat.blogspot.com/ )

My six year-old's bus drops him off seven or eight houses away, but I'm not comfortable with him walking home by himself. You just never know what kind of people are out there. I think the walk home is a nice time to talk about his day before he gets distracted by other things.

And don't kick yourself too hard about early dismissal. We all forget once in a while. Our schedule is different on Fridays. Last week I forgot and he missed his bus to afternoon kindergarten by over an hour. We just called it a holiday and had a fun day at home.

Both of my guys would love to walk home together by themselves. But there is not a chance I will ever let them. The main road they have to cross is dangerous, people go over the speed limit, and barely stop at the crosswalk. My main concern is not my children walking but the driver who isn't paying attention especially on these icy roads.

I realize at some point I will have to give them more freedom and responsiblity. I just haven't decided when that will be...Maybe by the time they are forty :O

Hi there. You are NOT overprotective or smothering. Six years old is too young to be walking home from school alone. In fact any young woman walking alone is not a good idea. A beautiful girl (8 years old) was walking home from school in our area (around the corner from her house) last April and was abducted. Her parents will never see her again. PLEASE do not let her walk home alone. You are not a bad mother to have "forgotten" it was early dismal day. This can happen to anyone. The school (or bus driver) should be blamed, however, for letting her go without supervision. Thank you for bringing up this subject as I believe it is a very important topic.