Walking Next To My Horse
Goodness - it has been seven days since I posted last. And it has been seven days where I've done great for breakfast and lunch and bombed every night at dinner. Technically, I haven't bombed because I didn't really attempt to limit anything. I've just been eating. I've also been exercising, but I think I'm going to need to do some deep thinking and resolve committing in the next few days.
Just not today. Today I want to have a second cup of coffee, eat foods around the house and stretch my leg and hope to feel a burst of inspiration to do more.
Getting cocky with the weight loss has given me a lot of freedoms. I'm fitter and thinner than I was. I'm feeling okay in my jeans. I'm confident about going out for a hike or run and don't mind saying that I'm slow. I'm in an okay space.
The problem is that I know I can easily sneak back the pounds if I'm not mindful. The problem is that I have also not completely addressed how I interact with food when I am tired or stressed or annoyed.
We've had guests and the guests have been good, but I found myself "letting go" of my focus. It's hard to be "Me First" when others are around and when I have to attend to all the stuff that comes with personal interactions and dynamics. However, I think it's also a convenient excuse.
To my credit, I still found the time to say "me first" for exercise and I did do a really nice 6 mile slow run last weekend, but it's not enough to balance out my very hearty dinners NOR my intense desires to "just go have Chinese for lunch" or "snack on beef jerky" or "have another cookie".
I can see why people like their routines and quiet lives. Mine were certainly working for me. But I also like traveling and visiting and doing random things so I'm going to need to work on continuing to find balance.
And tomorrow or the day after (or grinning - the day after that) I will have to begin anew the weight loss thing. I don't think it's really going to happen if I don't pay strict attention.
UGH! It sounds so easy on the surface, but it sure is not!!!
So, for now, I'm not quite back in the saddle. I'm more just walking alongside my horse. It's not a bad place to be, but if I want to get where I'm going, I'm gonna have to hoist myself back up into that saddle and refocus my focus.