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Once upon a time, early last Friday morning to be exact, there was a black bear. And it was hungry. So, the bear decided to roam the towns near Denver, Colorado in hopes of finding a nice bowl of porridge or some honey—because that’s what bears eat. But the bear found something much, much better than some hot cereal or a beehive; he found a 2008 Toyota Corolla.
This wasn’t just any Toyota; it was Ralph Story’s Toyota, and Ralph Story had a 17-year-old son named Ben who occasionally liked to leave peanut butter sandwiches in the backseat. And this wasn’t just any bear; this was a hungry, determined bear. Either the bear was a part-time locksmith and managed to jimmy the lock of the back door, or it was as strong as one would imagine a black bear to be and pushed one of the car windows down. One way or another, the bear hopped on in his restaurant-on-wheels and began moving about the car as gracefully as a bear can be.
Now, being a bear and hungry at the same time can get a little frustrating, especially when you realize you’re stuck inside this car and all you’ve got is some kid’s leftover sandwich. So, the bear began ravaging the car, being sure to check inside the airbags, car seats, and stereo to make sure there weren’t any more peanut butter sandwiches hidden.
In the bear’s hungry, shredding fury, it bumped the car horn as well the car’s gearshift. So, off the car went, about 125 feet down the hill and near a tree with the bear trapped inside.
Since hungry bears aren’t very discrete, the Douglas County sheriff’s deputies showed up around 3 am after receiving a call about the racket. The noise also woke Story, his wife, and three children, who ran outside to see their red car down the hill, rocking back and forth.
“Someone’s been ravaging MY Toyota!”
With the doors locked and the bear still inside, the officers were a bit puzzled as to how they would remove said bear from said Toyota. Would you, could you with a tranquilizer? Maybe, but the officers decided to take a less harmful approach. The deputies tied a long rope to one of the door handles and pulled.
After its two hour adventure inside the car, the bear moseyed on out around 5 am and went off to probably find more peanut butter sandwiches.
And they all lived happily ever after.
Minus the destroyed Toyota that had been reupholstered by a smelly, bear-scented present.
Moral of the story:
If you’re a hungry bear looking for a late night snack, maybe you want to ravage a car-make with functioning breaks.
