Wallowing Domestic
by randomactsofb

I'm hosting a Pampered Chef party tonight. I think it will be lots of fun, they always are. I always like the bonus of free stuff, although I'm not sure how much hostess credit I'll get this time because my friends and I are all collectively broke. Oh well, you can't go wrong when someone comes to your house to cook and showcase cool kitchen gadgets. If nothing else, it will be fun. And maybe I'll earn enough hostess credit to get a free cutting board -- I really need a good one.

The new catalog just came out and they have some really cute picnic type items (plastic plates, tumblers, flatware) that I think would be adorable for using when grilling out. Too bad we don't grill very much...or entertain often, for that matter. Oh well, one can dream.

I remember when Andi and I did our wedding registry. We went through the store (Crate & Barrel) with such wide eyes and big imaginations. We just knew we'd need that fondue pot for all the friends we were sure to have over. Too bad our dreams were mostly dashed when our family chose to purchase most of our gifts off of our Target registry. For some reason Target hadn't inspired such grande ideals of entertaining.

Do you suppose that whole perception is left over from the 1950s? I mean, the perception that once you're married you'll have tons of other couple friends and you'll all have great get-togethers and wallow in your couple-ness? I remember watching the movie Mona Lisa Smile, and observing how excited one of the characters was to get married and own a washing machine. Do you think all of our great housewife like thoughts come from that time? I do. Although my husband has recently admitted to me that if I were his payed housekeeper, I'd be fired, I still try to hold myself up to those June Cleaver-like standards. I mean, sure, my house isn't immaculate and dinner isn't on the table at 5 sharp every night...but in my head I'd like it to be that way. I guess, anyway. I mean, aren't I supposed to want it to be that way?

Who knows. I could really go on about that all day. I could hold myself under a microscope and be bashed by other women for keeping those standards as ideal. I know that many feminists have fought hard to change the perception that Woman = Such and Such. But in my mind, there is nothing wrong with holding ideals, as long as you let yourself slip from them and land right back in reality.

I'm perfectly fine with trying to fit into June's apron every now and again. And today, I'm very excited about wallowing domestic.

Comments

 

Target vs Crate and Barrel

So I'm probably not the best person to reply here, because I'm Ms "Marriage is a tool of the patriarchy!" but I liked your post, so I'm replying.

I don't think there is anything wrong with holding onto what might be considered old fashioned ideals or dreams or ideas about what "marriage" will be like as long as you're willing to tweak those ideals and dreams and ideas so that they work for you and your partner, errr husband.

Nobody is ever going to be a perfect fit, into any "ideal" - life and people just don't work that way. And it's ok. You work with what you are, who you are and what you need.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

 

my *click* moment

It was 1969. I had been married for a month. It was swelteringly hot in our unairconditioned 2nd floor apartment. I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the toilet and bathroom floor. My husband was sitting on the couch in his underwear having an iced tea. His feet were up as he watched TV. Then I heard the words "Aren't you done with that yet?" coming from his mouth.

And I thought -- he works; and I work. He goes to college; and I go to college. I clean; he watches TV.

I put down the scrub-brush, and said "You have no idea how done I am." From that day I ditched the June Cleaver fantasy and we began to split all the housework.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs relentlessly at Time's Fool

 

You go girl!

Way to rock the patriarchy. Seriously.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings