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This week Dave and I are headed to Asheville, North Carolina for the
"Summer Soiree" contra dance weekend. It's a welcome relief to leave
the heat and humidity of Florida for the cool crisp mountain air and
all our dancing buddies!
I've made this trip to Asheville many times in the past, but had never
visited the Biltmore House - the mansion the Vanderbilts created and
the largest residence in the country. It never held any appeal for me,
but I heard several people rave about how fabulous it was, so last year
we decided that we would take some time to go see it.
It truly was fabulous, and HUGE! Well before we reached the end of the
tour, I had had enough. "Enough bedrooms! Enough!" I wanted to scream.
The velvet ropes on brass posts kept us moving along the proscribed
path. I thought about faking an illness so the guards would escort me
out.
I was not the only one fed up. A group in front of us had several
children with them. Why anyone would think children would enjoy this
was beyond me, but here they were! The children were whining and
fussing to get out of there. They wanted a nap, they wanted to run and
stretch their legs, they wanted a bathroom. The adults were becoming
pretty frazzled themselves and self-conscious that the other visitors
were giving them dirty looks.
One woman was dispensing M&Ms to the children to shush them. It
wasn't working. She was getting desperate. One boy was screaming at
the top of his lungs. When the woman tried to put a candy in his mouth,
he clenched his lips and continued to wail. She tried to shove the
candy between his lips. Finally, through clenched teeth, with both his
little hands balled up into fists, he screamed "I DON'T WANT THAT!"
That image has become seared in my brain. How often do you give
yourself food when what you really want and need is something else
altogether? Is your body screaming "I DON'T WANT THAT!" Are you
listening well enough to hear it? On a scale of 1-10, how genuine and
honest is your relationship with your body? Are you willing to ask the
question - "What is it that I truly want?" Do you want a hug? a nap? to
get out of the office? a new job or career? out of an abusive
relationship? Are you willing to give yourself what you need and want
once you figure it out?
Women have been giving themselves "substitutes" for what they really want long enough. The next time you start to eat something when you aren't hungry, stop and ask yourself what it is you really want, and then take the next brave step of granting yourself that wish.
