I went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. And it got me thinking about love.

The crux of the movie is about young love, only these teens have love potions and spells to cast on one another. But isn't that what young love feels like? Being put under a spell with butterflies fluttering around your insides and compete giddiness taking over your brain? Love, real love is a bit different that than and a wee more complex. As we age our arteries harden and so does our capacity to love. So, how can we open our hearts up and bring more love into our lives? Because the more love we give and receive not only will it enhance our lives but it will us better parents. Although it might sound trite, but it's true -- the foundation of any good parenting is
L-O-V-E.

Love philosophers, poets, writers, ministers and musicians all have tried to define it. But what is it? I am not capable of defining it, but I can help you bring more of it into your life. Want more love in your heart? The first and the hardest step is forgiveness. Are you harboring resentment toward your sister for something she did ten years ago? Are you pissed off that your co-worker got your promotion? Let it go. I know it is so hard. You want payback. At this point the only person you are hurting is you because if you have anger in your heart there isn't a whole lot of room for love. Let it go by not thinking about it, talking about it and asking whoever you pray to for help in releasing you from it. You know you have forgiven when you can truly think about that person or situation without any anger.

The next step is self-love. Do you love yourself? Do you like yourself even? I am not saying an ego based love that is contingent on your success at work or your ability to lose twenty pounds. But do you love yourself as is? In your current state of success or failure, that is true love. This is a tough one too. We all delay our love and happiness for the future when we finally achieve x, y and z. Here's the deal if you can't treat yourself with non-judgment, compassion and love it is really hard to treat the rest of the world with non-judgment, compassion and love.

Now as for cultivating more love in your family, especially with your children, I am going to turn it over to an expert. Dr. Chapman has written several books on the topic titled The Five Love Languages. According to Dr. Chapman we each have a preferred love language and they are:

1) Acts of Service -- done out of love not obligation
2) Touch -- includes hugs, kisses, high fives, etc
3) Words of Affirmation -- simple complements
4)Quality Time -- focusing your energy on your loved one (no TV or cell phones!!!)
5) Receiving Gifts -- not the amount spent but the thought behind it

Of course, you want to provide all five for your kids, but to spot your child's love language here is what Dr. Chapman suggests:

1.Observe how your child expresses love to you. Your child may very well be speaking his or her own love language without you realizing it. Be particularly aware of those languages that aren’t natural to you.

2.Observe how your child expresses love to others. Pay close attention to how your child interacts with the children and adults to whom your child most often shows affection.

3.Listen to what your child requests most often. Most kids aren’t shy about voicing their requests, preferences, and desires. If you learn to listen “between the lines” to the things your child is requesting, you may hear his or her primary love language.

4.Listen to your child’s most frequent complaints. When you stop to consider their whining and grumbling, the results may surprise you. Their complaints may fall into a category corresponding with one of the love languages.

5. Give your child a choice between two options. Try introducing your child to situations where there are choices between two love languages. Pay close attention to the decisions made. The love language your child chooses most often may very well be the primary love language.

For me, unhardening my heart, opening it up and making room for love is a constant work in progress. I went to an energy class a few weeks ago and one of the techniques we learned to combat a person who is angry or negative is to think loving thoughts to actually hold love in your heart to move your consciousness away from the anger or hate into love. I gotta tell you practicing in the room was easy, applying it in the real world not so much. But I am still going to keep practicing by holding love in my heart. Because I know that I can bust up those ancient clogged arteries filled with anger and resentment and fill them with light and love.

For more info on Dr. Chapman and his books please visit:
http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/. 0 comments Links to this post Reactions: