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It was, by far, one of the low points in my life. My sister thought it would be fun to make some home movies when I was in Portland a few years ago. Fun-filled days at the ocean, romping with the kids, family and friends that had moved away from Chicago years earlier. I was not prepared for what I saw on the TV screen when we watched the movies later.
Somehow, when I wasn't looking, I had gained thirty pounds. I'm a short woman so I do not carry this well so you think I would have noticed but years of wearing "free size" clothing, not owning a scale and being in my head more than my body had kept me comfortably seated smack dab in a state of denial on a very cushy backside. Now, there I was on the screen, in a bathing suit, something that has always been challenge for this melatonin-challenged body even when I am in shape. It was mortifying, and no one in the room denied it. The thought that hit me right between the eyes was,
"This woman has no respect for herself."
That was what I saw. Not fat, though there was that, or that I had on a very old ratty bathing suit and mismatched shorts which would have landed me in a guest slot on What Not to Wear in the blink of an eye.
I saw the lack of respect I had been showing myself for who knows how long.
Immediately upon my return home, I bought a scale, lost the thirty pounds with suprising ease in six months, got my hair trimmed and tossed out that bathing suit.
Before anyone surprises you with secret footage, I encourage you to give some thought to this issue of self-respect. Do you appear to the world, and more importantly to yourself as someone who truly values their life, their health, their possessions?
Feel like making a statement? Head over to your closet and get rid of one low self-esteem outfit. It could be an old ratty thing that really needs to go. Or how about that brand new shirt, pair of shoes, pair of pants that you have never worn but refuse to get rid of because it was such a great deal? Or the (whatever) that you always hate wearing (wrong color, slightly uncomfortable, makes you feel like a dork) but that you continue to force on yourself because it's still in good condition.
What you wear affects how you carry yourself. And it affects how people respond to you.
We are very affected by the energy of things around us, and clothing particularly. What is in your closet that simply isn't you? Give it to someone who can use it, and if it isn't good enough to pass on, get it gone.
What are you not wearing because it has missed a button for three years or needs ironing? Just handle this stuff. In coaching speak, we call these tolerations.
Handle them.
This includes socks with holes in them, underwear that your mother would be ashamed to hear you were wearing if you get in to a car accident, and that single earring that you haven't found the mate for in the last seven years.
Bye bye. You can't come with me into the future I am planning for myself. You won't fit in there. You are not who I am any more.
Bonus Points: There is a concept called "buff" that I learned about years ago in coach training. Think of it as those things that are "so you". Ideally, you want to make your whole life "Buff".
When you are "Buff", when you have your game on, you become more attractive to everything and everyone around you.
As an example, I have a cloak that I love. It's lovely and I feel lovely in it. I was out grocery shopping and running errands the other day and was wearing it. Everywhere I went people were talking to me and they couldn't help but touch my wrap. I have a coat that has the same effect. My family always cracks up because they have seen it happen over and over again how people go out of their way to stop and talk to me when I have that coat on. It's like a magnet. Young, old, male, female. It doesn't matter.
And it's so fun for me (and funny to me) that I am sure I carry myself differently when
