WARNING: RANT AHEAD - from a pissed-off ex-single mom

Being a single mom is hard and, most of the time, it is not something you choose. And I know what I am talking about because I've been there and done that.

The reason I want to rant is because I just read an article on the Washington Post online (Single motherhood still rejected by most Americans, poll finds) (and no, I can't post the link, Blogger app doesnt offer insertion of link yet) that really pisses me off.

It seems that the results of a poll from Pew Research Center's Social and Demographic Trends shows that 1/3 of the respondents (on a total of 2700 respondents) "tended to accept all the changes (in about seven different trends in modern relationships that are upsending what used to be considered the traditional family:unmarried parents, gay parents, single mothers, unmarried couples, working mothers, interfacing marriages and women without children) EXCEPT for single motherhood".

What the poll reveals is for me shocking, considering we live in a "civilized" society, in the 21st century. The respondents almost all said that single mothers without a male partner around them to help them raise children is bad for society.

And there's more. This group tended to be young, Democratics or independent and more heavily minority.

I was a single mom for almost five years and I dare anybody to tell me in my face that I did a bad job raising my daughter.

There are many reasons why a woman is a single mom. And believe me, taking the decision to raise children alone is hard. There is a lot of thinking, a lot of sacrifices and a lot of painful choices behind it. And none are up for judgement.

It's really ironic to see how badly single women are judged. While single dads are mostly considered like victims and/or are pitied (I will tell you more about this in another post).

Yes, I've said that. You see, I know what I am talking about. I was one of those women that were deemed a bad mom because I was raising my girl on my own.

Some people, that often call themselves "christians", assumed I was bad because my lifestyle was different.

Nobody saw the hardship I was facing everyday. Working full time, paying for my own apartment, my bills and my child. With almost no help from her father (unless you count $120/month helpful) because he lied to pay the minimum child support possible-and no, I couldn't have more because I had no money to bring him to court, everyday was a struggle.

Nobody see that. Nobody took the time to see that my girl was being miserable when she was with her father. They all assumed that her father had the right to see his daughter and not that this relationship was toxic for her. Because God forbids we take away the parental rights of a bad father.

What is upsetting with this poll, is that the respondents are my peers.

But karma's a bitch. With national divorce rates at almost 50%, at least half of them will be in the situation I was not so long ago. And then they will know what I went through. I want to tell them not to worry though. I won't judge them.