Ways To Negotiate With A Toddler

These are real "negotiations" that have occurred between me and my 2 year old. These will either make you nod your head in agreement, make you shake your head in disagreement, make you question my skills as a mother, or all of the above.

The 360 Degree "Method"
Mommy: Time to leave the library now.
Lilly: 1 more book.
Mommy: Ok, pick ONE MORE BOOK, then we have to go, ok?
Lilly: Ok.
::lilly picks book, mommy reads book::
Mommy: Ok, now we have to go.
Lilly: One more book.
Mommy: No, we have to...
Lilly: One more?
Mommy: Ok...ONE MORE BOOK...but then we have to go, ok?
(notice "method" was in quotations because I ended up where I started and didn't actually get anywhere. Also, don't think I'm so horrible for making my kid stop reading. I do find it really awesome that my child likes to read books and didn't want to stop, however, our time at the library was exceeding the WAY-TOO-FREAKING-LONG point and I had a newborn to get home.)

Blatantly Lying/Tricking Them Method
Mommy: Please take one more bite of your dinner.
Lilly: I don't want. Can I have ice cream?
Mommy:  Take one more bite of your food, then you can have ice cream.
::child takes one bite of food::
Lilly: I took a bite, mom.
Mommy: Very good! Ok...take another bite of your food.
Lilly: I want ice cream!
Mommy: You can have ice cream... if you take one more bite of your food.
(mommy's version of the "360 Degree Method" above. Oh, how the tables have turned. ::evil laugh::)

Work With Them "Method"
Mommy: Please clean up your toys and put them in your room.
Lilly: Ok.
::toddler continues to play and does not clean up toys like she said she would::
Mommy: Lilly, I asked you to clean up. Here, let's do it together.
 ::mommy starts singing while picking up toys:: 
Mommy: clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere....
Lilly: ::sings along::
Mommy: good job, keep singing! let's clean up together! ::mommy continues cleaning up::
Lilly: ::keeps singing but is not picking up toys and is, in fact, just watching mom pick up ALL the toys::
(notice "method" was in quotations...and mommy was scammed.)

Threatening/Mean Method
Mommy: Please clean up your toys and put them in your room.
Toddler: Ok.
::does not clean up toys::
Mommy: Lilly, I asked you to clean up.
::child does not clean up toys::
Mommy: You want me to throw all your toys in the dumpster where they will get dirty and rot?
Toddler: No.
Mommy: Then clean up.

Kindness/Bribing Method
Mommy: It's time to go home.
Lilly: No, I want to stay at park.
Mommy: Lilly, it's time go home now be-.....
Lilly: No! I stay at park.
Mommy: Do you want ice cream?
Lilly: Yes.
Mommy: Ok, there's ice cream at home. Let's go.

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