We Never Made Eye Contact
By Karen Sandoval CZT on September 02, 2012
So that means we didn't see each other last night at the restaurant she was working at, right? No, I am as certain that she saw us as I am that we saw her. "She" is the daughter of my ex BFF, the only person I've let into my life, get to know the real Karen, except hubby. But we broke up a few years ago.
It was an awkward breakup, that started happening when their daughter and our son became involved with each other. Then the friendship turned to judgmental parenting and gossip that hurt us so deeply we had to cut the cord on our friendship.
When the kids broke off their romance, it was ugly, very ugly, for months. Our son would kick trees and cry and threaten suicide, saying life wasn't worth living without her. We wished she would leave him alone, stay away from him, to give him a chance to heal, but her thinking was she had cared for him at one time and did not want to be responsible if he hurt himself.
We saw that he was hurting, and we tried to get him help, we tried to help, but only time healed the gaping wound of their broken relationship. Our family was crushed by the breakup, hubby and I were the cause in the son's mind, because we had called it quits with her parents. (update 9/5/12- I asked him today if he still blames us and he said "no, you guys are off the hook". I wish I asked him sooner.)
The last straw for us was when they took our 86 year old friend out to dinner for his birthday. They had picked him up at his retirement home and took him to a restaurant a few miles away and spent the entire time telling our friend what horrible parents we were. Of course they knew because they experienced the kids breakup. From a different perspective. Every single thing they told our friend hurt him because they were saying hateful things about hubby and I and he loves us, and he wanted desperately to escape but he couldn't, because they picked him up. His car was parked in the garage at his community. Poor guy, caught in the middle.
The reason we called it splits with our BFF's was her gossip. They would come over to our house for Packer games and she would spend the entire time incessantly gossiping about her family and friends and I hate gossip. I hate it so much. Especially when I am on the listening end, because I know that the gossiper is also talking crap about us to others.
So last night we went to dinner with daughter and her hubby and the grandkids, we went to a place we love to eat at not far from our home. A place we used to go with our ex BFF's. When we were seated, I saw her, the daughter, waiting tables. I told hubby "she's here, she's working, look" and he did and he told me not to make eye contact and don't say a word to her.
I didn't. Not a single word, not a single glance at her eyes. And it was painful, it hurt me because despite what happened, all the horrible months of our awful breakup with her parents and her breakup with our son, we had been friends at one time. And I loved this girl. And I wanted to ask her "how are you doing?" "what's new with your life?" and I couldn't, I had to pretend I didn't see her.
And I feel bad.
I have such a hard time letting people go from my life.
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