We wish you a Merry Whatever Doesn't Offend You!
When I was a kid, you couldn't walk out of a store without at least three people stopping to wish you a Merry Christmas... "Merry Christmas!" they'd cheer with their retail Perma-grin, while flipping you the bird from underneath the counter), "And have a Happy New Year!" *Ting* *Tooth glimmer* It wasn't even a request, it was a flat-out demand to enjoy your holiday, and enjoy it–you did!
But somewhere along the line, the message got delivered to the wrong person and all hell broke loose. The next thing we knew, it was off limits to use the "C" word whenever it came to holiday wishes, and offending friends and neighbors had become part of the norm. "Uh... We don'tcelebrate Christmas," they sneer back at the barista, while ordering an everything bagel with a schmear. *Fidgets* *Shamefaced* <Insert apology here>
I wish it ended there, but it doesn't. In fact, the problem has gotten so big, that we find ourselves feeling guilty for saying something that's been said since it was declared a National holiday in 1870. Now it's all "Happy Holidays!" which, I'm sorry to say, does not offer the same warm, fuzzy that the old standby used to. No wonder I haven't been in the spirit this year... I'm almost not allowed to be! And even though I'm not a Christian, I don't pray before scarfing down a hot meal, and I sure as shit don't go to church; I am spiritual, and I do believe that everyone is entitled to their own reality, even if it's not as cool as mine.
If you ask me, I'd say that Christmas isn't designed to be offensive at all; it's here to make money for all those greedy CEO's and marketing guru's that are sitting up in their corner office thinking up ways to get you to buy more. What's so offensive about THAT?! So, if I accidentally slip one day and wish you a Merry Christmas instead of a Happy Kwanzaa or whatever it is that you celebrate, please try not to read too much into it–old habits die hard.
But if you DO find yourself seething with resentment from an innocent and joyful expression of days-gone-by... Happy whatever doesn't piss you off! *Wink* *Wink*
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