Wedding Planning Right For You
By kathleenh on July 08, 2008
We all know that our wedding day is ONLY ONE DAY. But that doesn’t stop us, as women, from trying to make it the most glorious event in our lives. The best compliments I received from my daughter’s wedding last September came from many guests telling me “everything was perfect!” Unexpectedly at the end of the ceremony the minister announced "E ora di fronte a dio, onnipotente e misericordioso, vi dichiaro marito e moglie!" (We your family and friends, now pronounce you man and wife!) It brought tears of joy to my daughter’s Italian in-laws and surprise to my Italian husband and children. The guests were also amazed at the personalized bottles of honey made by the bride and groom’s own bees, and the surprise mariachi music with wide brimmed hats and wooden maracas. This as good as it gets, and every bride wants every guest at her wedding to say “everything was perfect.”
So, there is one of two ways you can go about planning your wedding. The first way is making plans exactly the way YOU want. This way ensures that won’t be talked into buying one of Davids Bridal’s $99 wedding gowns, and you won’t be coerced into having your nephew do his shaky version of Ave Maria at the ceremony. You may even put your foot down when your in-laws suggest take-out pizza for the rehearsal party. (I actually read this complaint in a bridal chat room.)
Or, you can plan your wedding exactly the way you want it and change your mind every time one of your girlfriends says, “Are you sure about that date because I think I’ll be about 8 months pregnant around then.” And if you have a relative who is a florist or photographer or a cake maker or a wedding planner, you know you will be expected to use their services, even if you have no real relationship with that person.
Obviously, I suggest a compromise, but not entirely. As women we are bred to be people pleasers, many times at our own expense. Your wedding IS only one day, but for many of us it’s one of the most important in our lives. We’re not all like Angelina Jolie, going to the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the Cannes Film Festival, all in one week. We’re hard working women that want to celebrate our big day and bask in the warm love of family and friends. If we want polka dot wedding cakes or black wedding gowns, or want our favorite shih tzu, Zelda, to be the maid of honor, that’s what we’re going to get. We can do it with dignity and without hurting family members and friends. It’s as true today as it was almost 500 years ago when Shakespeare first wrote it, “to thine own self be true”
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