Week 11: Ultrasound

March 19th 2013

This evening we went for our nucal ultrasound to compliment the trisomy blood test I wrote about during Week 9 where they look at the space behind the child's neck in order to measure the fluid. The two tests combined calculate the risk of the baby having certain syndroms: Edwards, Patau and Down.

We packed the boys up and headed over to see "the baby in mommy's belly."

If your wondering why I'm going to a doctors office when I have a midwife, it's due to the fact that even after one VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) I am still a VBAC. My uterus indeed has been tested and passed with flying colors but the miracle of one VBAC will not take that darn internal incision away. That means that in the great state of New Jersey I have to deliver in a hospital with a doctor. Until then I have my midwife who provides me with the care of a home birth pre and post nataly and will be with us through the entire labor and delivery process. In order to maintain continuity all of my ultrasounds will be done at the backup doctors office who will ultimately catch the Tiny Human.

We finally made our way into the technicians office where we watched the "baby movie." She was able to conclude that our risk of down syndrom is very low, the babies size is appropriate to my due date and after I asked her to show me the head, since I now know what to look for, so far so good in the cranio department. I breathed a sigh of relief.

 

 

Then I made the mistake of asking her to guess at the gender. She declared she's pretty positive "it's a boy." And then offered her sympathies. I had to try very hard not to cry right then and there. I want a girl more than anything for various reasons and those words instantly broke my heart into tiny pieces. What they did teach me however is that this. Barring any unforeseen ginormous accident. Regardless of sex. Will be my last baby. I can not do this again. I do not have it in me. 

I hit google hard and what that essentially told me is that gender guesses at a twelve week ultrasound are sometime right, sometimes wrong. That boys and girls both have penises at eleven weeks gestation and that I should never have asked.

All I want to do right now is climb into bed until twenty weeks along where the anatomy ultrasound will definitively either confirm or deny the aforementioned penis. If it really does end up being a third boy, I will be heartbroken but I will also get over it. All I can do right now is wait and try not to be too depressed. To reconcile these very real emotions spiraling inside of me.

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