Weigh-In #2: Keeping It “Real” (Confessing Failure)

I knew starting Healthy Belle that I was inviting the world into my life. I welcome it. There is a sense of freedom and satisfaction in being transparent. I believe that God has designed life in a way that forces us to learn from and depend on one another. It can be both humbling and rewarding. I like the sense of feeling that my experiences are benefiting others in some way. I like that other people’s experiences have benefited me in many ways as well. What I don’t like is the aspect of vulnerability that goes along with being transparently honest. Not that being vulnerable is a bad thing. It’s just that it can be humiliating at times and being humbled can be challenging.

I almost didn’t post my weigh-in this month. I was prepared to ignore all of my convictions and declarations. I was going to drown out my nagging regrets, probably with overeating, until I was reminded of the purpose of my blog. My blog is about my journey to become healthy and beautiful. It’s about my journey. Trial and error. Good and bad. I made a commitment to myself that I would post my progress whether or not I lost weight. So I confess that I have not lost any weight this month. In fact I have gained 1.6 pounds. I went from 236.5 to 238.1.

I’ve been on the weight-loss road for many years. Twelve years to be exact. Within that 12 years I have played this game of lose and gain with about 50+ pounds. My highest recorded weight was 272 early in 2000. Three years ago got down to 218. That’s the smallest I’ve been in my adult life. Twelve years is a long time to battle with weight loss but it has been a battle. I have not conceded to defeat. I’m going to win. I’m calling for reinforcements to ensure it. I’m going to see a nutritionist. Well actually, my doctor strongly suggested that I see one. It’s time. I’ve been trying for too many years on my own with little headway.

I’m keeping it “real by confessing that I’m failing at this weight loss thing. I’m keeping it even “realer” by seeking and accepting help. I’m pretty upset that I’m not rocking the weight loss like I had hoped but I’m still hopeful and confident that I will achieve my weight loss goal. Until next time, stay healthy.

Healthy Belle

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