By birdsonthewire on June 09, 2011
I tweeted and facebook posted the following thought last night and I have to say, I woke up this morning feeling even more like it's true:
There are way, way, way worse things politicians in Washington are doing right this minute than tweeting their dongs to people.
And there are, right?
But I'm not here to go on a political rant at the moment (although, I easily could and perhaps will later in the day when it's naptime and I can sit down to write without hearing the William Tell Overture on repeat from my son's jumperoo). What I am here to comment on is something interesting that took place in my facebook comment thread and which has gotten me thinking...
See, in my comment thread there were people who said things like, "Yes, but he lied to us!"
To me this isn't relevant. So what? He's a politician, he's basically paid to lie. But aside from that, he didn't lie about anything POLITICAL or anything that will affect us as American citizens. He lied about something in his personal life, something private.
Sure, is it kinda "icky" that he's tweeting photos of himself to random women around the country? Yes. If I were his wife I would be crying myself to sleep about this.
But i'm not his wife, I'm not his friend, I'm just a citizen in the country where he works and therefore his ickiness has nothing to do with me and it has nothing to do with his job performance.
'Cause here's my experience, and sure, this is going to come off as jaded and possibly all man-bashing which is not my intention - it's just my EXPERIENCE: Almost all men do things like this and lie about it.
Seriously, almost all of them.
If I had to disregard every man I knew who looked at porn and lied to me about it or who said something inappropriate to a woman and lied to me about it or who kept in contact with someone they shouldn't and lied about it or...you get the gist, then I would have to disregard basically every single man I've ever encountered.
I really, really would.
And so I pointed this fact out on my facebook thread. I said the following:
Politicians lie about things that actually matter all the time: like the fact that they own shares in companies that are profiting from war. This guy lied about tweeting some girl bc he didn't want his wife to find out. It has nothing to do with his profession. Who cares if he's a jerk in his personal life? This seriously has nothing to do with his ability to be an effective member of congress (no pun intended) and a relevant leader of the democratic party.
Most guys do things like this and lie about it. That's just the way it is. The fact remains though that it has no impact on whether or not he's a good politician which he is and therefore he should remain in his position.
And what struck me as interesting and what compelled me to come here this morning is the fact that the people who were the most offended over the lies were MEN! I will leave out their names but check out this comment:
It's not the tweeting that I mind. It's that when someone asked him about it, his response was "I don't have to tell the truth! I'll just lie to avoid problems!" Also, other people being worse doesn't make something bad any less bad.
And it hurts even more because I thought he was awesome. I expect people I dislike to lie, but he seemed so cool!
someone else (another guy) said:
Yea the biggest shame is how awesome Rep Weiner was before all this. He's the first politician I've ever seen that wasn't afraid to argue and could run circles around interviewers trying to trap him
which is interesting to me on many levels. They're saying that this has fundamentally changed how they see Rep. Weiner from BEFORE all of this happened. It's like his lie has revisionist powers and has gone back and changed everything about him to these guys.
How would I have been able to function in life if everytime I encountered a man who has lied to me like this was somehow then transformed into a villain? There would literally be no more men for me to interact with aside from my father.
I find it interesting that these guys are so offended though because this says a lot to me about what men are used to. Men aren't used to being lied to in our culture. They just aren't. And so these guys are taking it really hard when someone who they liked and who they admired and who they related to turns out to be a skeevy in his personal life and who doesn't want to 'fess up to that fact immediately.
The part of me who has been so hurt by lies and men over my years of dating wants to say "SEE?? THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT" in all capital letters like that. I want to say, "THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME! APPLY THIS THOUGHT TO YOUR REAL LIFE AND YOU'LL MAYBE HAVE ONE OUNCE OF AN IDEA OF HOW I FEEL."
But then I realize that's a little out-of-control and no one listens to people (especially women) when they speak in all caps like that.
So then I just want to say, "It's okay." to these guys. And I want to let them know to trust me, that this little lie on the part of a really fantastic member of congress has absolutely no impact on his ideologies and his ability to be a really fantastic representitive. It truly doesn't. I know because I've encountered so many men like him before and because all of those men have also had really great qualities about them that weren't touched by the icky parts.
People are dynamic and deep and multi-faceted and a whole bunch of other words that mean that there's a lot going on within. Rep. Weiner is no different. He's got a lot of parts to his personality and one of them is apparently sexually repressed or something and he has some need to communicate with internet girls. And while that really does suck for his wife and while it must hurt her so much it honestly has nothing to do with his ability to be a politician in this country and it has nothing to do with how i view him as a politician. Would I date him ever if in some alternate reality I had the chance to? Probably not. Although that wouldn't protect me from this kind of behavior because I believe that it is the norm and not the exception. And while that sucks on a personal level, it's okay on a day-to-day level.
In short: so what if he lied? It's really not our business anyway. Let's let him get back to being a kick ass politician and one of the only people who is out there speaking the TRUTH in other aspects of the world today.
And now i'm off to take care of my son and proceed with my day.
What are your thoughts about all of this?
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