The weirdest compliment I've ever gotten




Weird and strange situations seem to fall upon me quite regularly which are magnified by my complete social awkwardness at times. I was reminded of this particular story quite recently.

So about a year ago, I was with my “cultured” boyfriend (bitter? me? nah!)  at the time and his mother in an art gallery in Dusseldorf. We were given information pamphlets on all the sculptures to explain what they meant. My German is quite basic so I was given this big English version A4 booklet so it was quite obvious that I wasn’t German. I was pottering around the various sculptures when one of the security guards approached me. He had noticed my English booklet and proceeded to ask me where I was from in a friendly but loud manner. This was sorta awkward as the gallery was full of people speaking in hushed tones like in a church. I told him I was from Ireland, he then started to go about how much he loves Ireland etc and started to talk about Cardiff and what a wonderful place it is. I then had to inform that Cardiff was in fact, in Wales. He smiled awkwardly at me and I moved on.

I had moved a few more meters with the boyfriend looking at me in a puzzling fashion when the security guard approached me again. This is where it gets weird. He asked me had I ever watched Lord of the Rings, I replied yes, it was favourite of mine. He then told me that I should go for auditions for the next hobbit because I had very elvish features or that I could be a Celtic warrior princess in some movie. I was at a loss for words. I probably looked extremely confused. I stuttered a thank you and moved quickly to the next section of the art gallery.



However Mr German weirdo security guard was not done yet with me. He followed me into the other section of the art gallery. He asks me if he could tell me an Irish joke he had heard. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and politely said go ahead because we Irish are always up for the “craic”. The joke goes as follows:

Paddy Irishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Englishman were all at a bar and each had a pint in their hand. They all  suddenly noticed that there was a fly floating about in each of their pints.

Paddy Englishman was disgusted and refused to drink the pint and demanded a new one.

Paddy Scotsman shrugged, picked the fly out and continued drinking.

Paddy Irishman was enraged, he picked out the fly, started poking at it and screamed “SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!”.

*sigh* yes. I get it. Because all Irish people are fond of the auld drink. Ha. I did laugh politely though. It is actually a funny joke but still using a joke that pretty much makes a mockery of the Irish on a complete Irish stranger was a pretty bold move. Anyways I moved quickly to where the boyfriend was still standing looking confused and hissed at him to save me.

Anyone have any weird compliment given to them or some mildly insulting joke directed at their nationality?




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