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I got asked at a birthday party this afternoon if I was pregnant. This isn't the first, or the second, or even the third or fourth time I've been asked that WHEN I'M NOT PREGNANT. The first time it happened, I quipped, "No, I'm just fat." I was more civil today, and brushed it off, with "No we're done. Two is plenty." But what I wanted to say was, "No it's just a bunch of saggy skin two 8 1/2 lbs babies left me with, you want to feel it?"
Seriously, WHAT IS UP WITH PEOPLE? I mean the 6-year-old neighbor I can let slide. But everyone else should know better. We're not all made like Gumby and just bounce back to our original shape. I'm a size four for crying out loud. I'm about 10 lbs over my high school weight. I look better now than I have in 10 years. I shouldn't be made to feel like I need to run out and get a tummy-tuck! Although that's exactly what I'm thinking tonight. I tell myself, I'm not that vain. And frankly, surgery would not be a wise maneuver for my immune system. This body's had enough trauma, thank you very much.
But here I am googling tummy-tuck and Dr. Oz. I remember him doing a segment on Oprah once where he said, once you have kids you can't get a flat stomach again through working out alone. Apparently you actually NEED surgery to sew the muscles back together. It's supposed to be good for your back, too, by improving your posture. And you know I need back pain relief. Of course I can't actually find the article or show on this. Maybe I'm making it up. Or maybe my hairdresser did. Post #2 she's going in for lipo.
For some reason, this time, more than any of the others, this thoughtless question has really sent me into the "I want a tummy-tuck" tailspin. Maybe because it was a guy that said it this time. Or maybe it's because I'm done having kids. Or maybe it's because I'm approaching middle-age. I dunno. But if I had the money, wasn't already dealing with a chronic illness, or was a little more vain (it wouldn't take much), I'd be having a consultation.
BUT, in the meantime, at least my husband thinks I'm hot, the boys don't know the difference, and a sister or good girlfriend would tell me I look great. And that's all that matters. Really.
