Well, Now I Just Have Too Much Butter - Or Why Paying for Food is Stupid.
By Awkwardly Alive on January 03, 2013
Good morning, readers!
I hope you are all enjoying your day so far.
I’m out of coffee, so I’m starting my day off with a nice cup of hot cocoa – which I am so not hating. If there wasn’t the lack of caffeine, I might start my day like this every day… Oh wait, isn’t that what a mocha is for? Eh, now it all sounds like too much work.
The other day, Dragon took me grocery shopping, because I had a lot of very generous tippers at the restaurant this week, so I decided I should treat myself to more than just the essentials. The problem is that I really don’t go grocery shopping that often. I go to the store when I need to go to the store, but I don’t stock up on stuff for long-term feeding. This is why I need Dragon, a grocery-shopping-deal-finding master, to take me. Here is a sample of our conversations:
Me: Oooo, can I get these?
Dragon: What? Are you kidding? Those are like 5 dollars a pound! You should never pay that much.
Me: But I want them…
Dragon: Not at that price you don’t.
Dragon: Do you want broccoli?
Me: Um… I guess?
Dragon: Well you’re a vegetarian, isn’t that one of the best things for you?
Me: Um… I guess?
Dragon: Fine. Don’t get broccoli.
Me: No, wait! I’ll get it!
Dragon: Actually… now that I’m looking at it, none of it looks very good… Don’t get broccoli.
Me: Oh, but now I want broccoli…
Dragon: Too bad. Sucks to be a vegetarian in the winter. Hey, look at all that yummy meat!
Me: But I don’t need Cheez-Its.
Dragon: Yes you do, you never have snacks, plus these are on sale.
Me: Because they’re such a waste of money! You just eat them and then they are gone.
Dragon: Yes.. as with all food…
Dragon: [loading groceries in the car] Are you okay?
Me: [staring blankly into the abyss] I just spent so much money on stuff I don’t need…
Dragon: No, you need this. It’s food.
Dragon: [putting groceries away at home] Oh, it looks like we accidentally bought two packs of butter.
Me: Can we return one and get my money back?!
Dragon: What? No. It’s butter. You always use butter. Plus, that would only be like… two bucks.
Me: I could do use two dollars…
Dragon: For what?
Me: I DON’T KNOW, NOT BUTTER!
And that is the story of how I cannot cope with spending large amounts of money on myself. Although, I will admit that it was really nice to be able to just cook myself dinner last night without having to go anywhere to pick something up… and I can do that again tonight, too! Oh no.. I’m becoming accustomed to this new lifestyle… This could end terribly.