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Let's play a little drinking game (yes, in the middle of the workday -- "why not?" this irresponsible blogger says). I'll lead you through a list of things that are subtracting years from your life according to Yahoo as seen in a "sobering study," and for every action you currently do, take a swig of Snapple (oh, wait, you thought I meant alcohol? Are you crazy? That stuff will kill you!). Ready?
Smoking
You may not know this, because it's only written on the side of a cigarette package, prohibited in many places by law due to health concerns, and the subject of a massive campaign, but smoking is not good for you. Yes, it's true. You heard it here first. And if you don't believe me, ask this guy.
Lounging About
If you sit on your butt all day, that's bad. Yes, those who get less than two hours of physical activity a week are putting their health at risk. Though the definition of physical activity wasn't spelled out in the Yahoo article or the study abstract, I'm going to guess that a half hour of active typing on Twitter wouldn't make the cut. Your fingers will be in excellent shape, but your heart will not.
Why are you still sitting there? Here, watch Jane on fast-forward. Then get up and lift your laptop a few times. No laptop? Desktops are even heavier.
Eating Crap
Those who ran into greater health problems ate fewer than three servings of fruits and vegetables a day. According to Yahoo, "one carrot, one apple and a glass of orange juice would suffice for the fruit and vegetable cutoffs in the study." Wheeeeeeeeeew, this vegetarian squeaked under the wire with that one.
The following is not a fruit.
Drinking
According to the study, the threshold was "more than three alcoholic drinks per day for men and more than two daily for women." Hence why we're doing this with Snapple!
It turns out that not only is excessive drinking likely to clog up your Twitter stream with embarrassing statements permanently cataloged in the Library of Congress, it's not that good for your health, either.
Is any of this surprising?
Melissa writes Stirrup Queens and Lost and Found. Her book is Navigating the Land of If.
