It is a conundrum.  We have a child with hearing loss and know how we would have benefitted from having access to a 'blogging' family at the time of her diagnosis. We have chosen to blog about her story in an effort to help inform other parents, but we have chosen to conceal our names (we number the kids, 1 of 8, 2 of 8, etc).  However, I do post pictures of the kids and I do talk to some degree about the challenges and fears concerning 4 of 8's hearing impairment.  

I suppose the rule I've come to in terms of content is that I have posted nothing which 4 of 8 has not already heard us talking about.  That seems a pretty good rule of thumb in general--if I don't have the guts to say it to the individual, it would seem pretty 'chicken' to post it to the world.  A degree of anonymity should be a measure of protection, not a means of a consequence-less battering ram. 

It's a great point to ponder, this idea of our kids having always been immersed into the open culture of an internet-savy society, while we ourselves remember the 'old days.'  I found my ob/gyn for the twins via recommends on the web.  I found 4 of 8's therapy group through a website.  We are the pioneers, to some degree; it is important to bring that blend of the experience and culture of the 'old country' into the oppotunity and uncertainty of a new land.  How we conduct ourselves, where we set the bar, will set the tone for the blogging culture ahead.

 Blessings!

Octamom 

Octamom

www.octamom.com

the musings of a mother to a multitude

I used to be a newspaper columnist, back when my sons were younger, and privacy then was a much different issue than it is now. Fifteen years ago, maybe 65,000 people could read my work. Today, anyone with an Internet connection can do it.

My privacy concerns are more about the things that might embarrass my children or infringe on their rights to privacy. It's one thing to tell a cute story about my daughter going to the fabric store with me. It's another thing entirely to talk about the reasons why my middle child went to military school last year.

Fortunately, I'm more of a crafty blogger than mommy blogger, which gives me sort of a built-in reason not to go into detail about my personal life (which is dreadfully boring, for reals) or that of my kids. 

http://confessionsofacraftaddict.com

I handle the privacy issue by changing my kid's names to names that people in the family can identify, but someone who doesn't necessarily know us would not get. I post random pictures and stories about my kids but nothing that would embarrass my teenager should he ever find my blog which is likely as much as he is online! blogging is my way of having a social life without leaving my living room, but it is also a way to journal things happening in our life....so I can't be completely vague or I wouldn't be able to do this effectively.

They will have their revenge-- imagine what they will be blogging about us in a few years :)

Leslie

I'm concerned about the fact that the word "authentic" is bewing thrown around on the internet as a blanket excuse for crossing boundaries. I stumbled across a very successful mommy blog where readers are treated to daily vitriolic diatribes on her in-laws and not so kind posts on her husband. The word "authentic" is thrown in as a reason for this behavior. It's like watching a train wreck in progress. It's snarkinesss gone wild. The blog is successful in a monetary sense but at what cost to her relationships? I am hoping that the one of the BlogHer panels will be discussing the ethical issues involved in blogging. We are a litigious society and I'm waiting for lawsuits relating to invasion of privacy. Authors are faced with this problem, Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings was sued over one of her depictions in Cross Creek.

 Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife

Having only a teen at home, I have no worries about blogging about her. My whole purpose behind blogging is to leave a written legacy FOR her of our family's life and times as she was growing up. I wouldn't say ANYTHING on my blog that would embarrass or demean her or her dad! She reads my blog and I normally clear any 'personal' post with her before posting it. If I demean anyone--that would be me. I just try to remember that its not all about ME! If its not encouraging and uplifting, it shouldn't be written --period!

There are ways to write personal things without being too personal. Since I blog for posterity, I will write about an embarrassing situation (that I want remembered by the family) in such a way that my daughter will clearly remember...but no-one else would know all the details.

I learned long, long ago. If you wouldn't share it with Jesus sitting at your side....DON'T WRITE IT DOWN!!!

For the most part this is how I begin to decide if I should write about it on my blog or not.  If I were sitting around having coffee or at the park or anywhere with a group of my mommy friends and I would share it or discuss it, then most likely I will blog it.

There are a few exceptions as life dictates with everything, but I tend to be more protective and private with my older children, or as each one gets older I share less or different things.  I may talk about the potty-training toddlers aiming and painting of the wall, but I would never blog about my oldest's personal growth as she hit "woman-hood." That's her place, not mine. Both personal, both very different situation.

If it is something I would only talk to my best friend about to help me sort through it or was private enough for only that friend - I do not blog it.

While many of my readers know our names, I blog us all with pseudonyms just in case.  I look at that as no different than a monogram on their cute southern custom clothes.  I never have their name embroidered on their clothes, just their initials.  Same for backpacks and such.  I do NOT want anyone who does not already know us to see my child's name and call out to them.  We've had a brush with a stranger trying to take one of our sons.  In a Wal-mart store.  A situation like that makes one start to think differently.

the SmockLady

My teens are usually the first readers of my posts, so if anything crosses the line I'll quickly get the 'don't put that in there' and it's edited out.

I agree, if it's not something I can repeat to co-workers, it's not going to be in my next post.

SF

I'm not about to give out our address or phone number or post photos with our license plates in them.

But I do use my kids' real names and I think that's because I spent many years in the digital srapbooking community (I'm still there) and have posted many many layouts of my kids and as a community, most of used our children's real names.

My blog is based on stories and observations about my life, trying to find the humor in every day life. For me, I'd find that pretty hard to do if I couldn't use our real names or real incidents or situations.

I'll blog about anything that I would discuss in normal conversation. I guess the way I feel about it is ... if I won't discuss it in person, I won't blog about it either.

I do draw the line with my extended family. I won't blog about my in-laws simply because I don't have that kind of relationship with them. I don't feel comfortable blogging about them. And that's unfortunate because MAN, they are a wealth of material.

Andrea

The Creative Junkie

http://www.thecreativejunkie.com

I definitely make choices about what I do, but a lot of my choices are made because of my respect for my family.  I'm not nearly as paranoid as they are, but since I have a unique name, and I share that name with my in-laws, I included them in my choices.  Their perceptions are based on media showing the worst, while I've seen the good this community can do. 

I don't think that pictures hurt, since as many have pointed out, people see kids all the time, but again I've chosen to not include my daughter's face.  

Many of the things I blog about are not anything I think she would mind, and I like being able to document it.  However, as she gets older I'll edit myself more, but I wont' stop writing about everything.  If anything, blogging has helped me realize how important it is to document, since time flys so fast.  

I use real names in my blog and post pictures of my daughter as well.  My concerns about privacy weren't too great when I started blogging a few years ago.  At first I started out simply writing about my newborn for friends and family, but my goals for the blog have changed and I've recently started trying to build my readership.  I've thought about going back and using pseudonyms instead of real names, but my daughter's name is part of my blog name.  The blog has become such a big part of my life I can't imagine changing the name now.

What I've been trying to do is pull the focus away from my daughter as she gets older.  I still write about her frequently, but I've tried to limit the number of pictures and videos I share.  I recently shot a video of her trying to do a sommersault wearing only a diaper.  I posted it to Facebook, where ony those people I know and trust could see it.  

Heather

Autumn At Oak Hollow
http://www.autumnatoakhollow.com

I only have one child and he is very young (13 months).  I have a photo of the two of us on my blog and his name is listed as well.  Since he so young I don't think it is a big deal.  In the future this may become more of an issue but my personal theory is if I am blogging something that I couldn't share with someone I just met - I shouldn't have it out there in the blogosphere.

 Cutie Booty Cakes

www.cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com 

Every now and then, someone I only sort-of know, someone a work or a friend of a friend, will say "hey, I read your blog" and it always surprises me. When I think about what I write, think about these people the most. If I'm not comfortable sharing it with them, then I don't write it.

My least favorite kind of blog is the one that  says mean or hurtful things about a personal relationship. I believe there are other places to express myself about that kind of thing, mostly with girlfriends and without a large audience. 

Carol Marie Ramsey
Finding balance and peace in parenting at Graceful Parenting

Any readers of my blog who met me would be surprised that I have a complete and uncontrollable potty mouth.  Because that is one way I filter myself. I have met people who read my site and even those in the 'tween years, and I'm glad that I chose to draw a line in the sand. 

I don't write things that will humiliate my kids, mock my husband (although I do get more than a few good laughs from his antics) or cause my mom to write me out of the will.  I want my kids to be able to go back over this blog in 10 years and laugh or cry at what was happening in our lives. I don't ever want them to be ashamed of what I wrote about them.  

I do use their real names, I use mine....I'm very open about the details of many parts of our lives because for me, I have a message about living with a child with cancer that I want people to GET. 

Anissa Mayhew

www.hope4peyton.org 

www.onevoiceproject.ning.com

Nana Connie

 I blog about my grandchild. Privacy is a subject that I think about often. I believe in keeping one's location anonymous. I don't use last names and I don't show up to the minute photos. My blog is not about detailing our lives to others, it's about encouranging, inspiring and having fun. But at the same time I am very grateful to those who use blogging to tell their stories and struggles with illness etc. I think those blogs are great.  Writing in itself is a great therapy for dealing with the difficulties.

Hope everyone had a great weekend at Blogher.

i think it's still a matter of responsibility when it comes to what should be blogged and broadcasted for everyone to read. it is quite a concern that a few years down the road, my kids will read what i wrote about them. but majority of what i publish are their milestones and achievements which are the main points of why i chose to become a mommy blogger. i wanted a venue to immortalize my proud mommy moments.

in terms of privacy, i am aware of those predators. it's just a matter of securing your family and your blog's content. and a matter of choosing which avenues to show off your kids. a rule of thumb that i follow is avoid providing specific locations and as much as possible, the pictures i post are not of recent events. 

and yes, when my kids are bigger, imagine the blackmail and paydirt i'm going to get from them.  

p.s: i'm just a day old member but i'm loving this community. love all the way from the philippines!

http://haze-unplugged.blogspot.com

I do blog about my family but I don't write anything that I wouldn't say on stage to the entire congregation of our church (2000+) as my husband is one of the pastors. I think that is a good rule of thumb. I agree with whomever said there are creepy people lurking in the neighborhood yet we don't cower in our homes- I'm the same way- I don't worry abot using our names and photos b/c people can get that info just by googling us. But I do watch what  say. If I wouldn't announce it to the whole church and community then I wouldn' blog about it.

www.sprinkles.wordpress.com

I think it's simple really, I just follow the rule of if I wouldn't be comfortable saying to the person's face, I don't type it. 

 It's also just a part of your family style.  We're a very open family with most people on most subjects and I blog that way.  There are boundries, but there should be. 

I blog with the kids nicknames and real pictures of them.

 Jen

www.homespuntruth.blogspot.com

I just joined Blogher about two minutes ago, but I just had to post.  Privacy is an issue I've been struggling with.  My husband and I started a website a few months ago.  It's a children's story/project website, and as part of the site, I also started a blog.  When my husband posted the stories we'd written, he decided to use pen names, so my blog followed suit, using my initials JC.  When I write about my son, I use a different name for him.

I struggled with the idea of using my own name for my stories, but something in the back of my head said to keep a bit of anonymity.  After all, the Web is a very large place.  Recently, we've gotten a series of emails from a person who wants to contribute and, let's just say this person is a bit too interesting for me.  At this point I'm really glad we have pseudonyms now.

One thing my husband has reminded me of:  once you write something for publication on the internet, it's there forever.

JC

http://www.storyrhyme.com/jcsblog