What Can I Say, Kid? I'm A Product Of The Eighties.
image via shutterstock
I went to school in the eighties.
This dictates that (amongst other things):
- My prom dress is far more embarrassing than yours will ever be
- I used more hairspray in four years of high school than you'll use in your entire life
- You're going to have to deal with me singing "Raspberry Beret" at the top of my lungs when I hear it on the radio. Complete with squeals, oooohs and shaking of the vehicle as I jam in my seat.
- I am what I am, and I make no apologies for it. Somewhere, in an old shoebox, are numerous pictures of me posing in red parachute pants, a flashdance top, jelly shoes, ruffles, zippers, and shoulder pads. Big, big shoulder pads.
Oh, how I miss shoulder pads. I looked awesome in them. Particularly when the hair was spiraled and sprayed to epic heights.
Or artfully pulled into a banana clip.
God, I miss banana clips.
And blush, oh, did I have blush. And when you have cheekbones like mine, that blush was more than makeup, it was a statement of art in its purest form.
Yes, I was rockin' like Dokken. I walked like an Egyptian. I would have jumped for the love of a man who wore cheap sunglasses. At night.
And yes, I like candy.
Just try not to sing that now.
Straight up, now tell me, don't you wish you could have had the fun I had back then? Imagine me, standing at a dance, adjusting the lacy ruffles on my socks (over the top of my booties and well under my ruffled jersey miniskirt, of course) as the guy in the Members Only jacket and the layered polo shirts turned his Flock of Seagulls head in my direction. And we danced. Like a wave on the ocean....romanced.
Yeah, now that one's looping in my head.
We were loud and brash and over-the-top and we lived and lived and lived every moment of that ridiculous ride. You can look at the videos, check out the pictures, shake your head and roll your eyes, but you'll never capture that kind of Wow Factor again. We were too much. Simply too much. And it was awesome. Like, totally.
You can laugh all you want. Back then, MTV played music. Actual music. Good music. Now don't you wish you could experience that?
I will forever be a GoGo wannabe, and that's OK with me. And now that I think about it, maybe I wouldn't look so bad with a spiral perm again.
And a bit more blush.