January is "make over your life!" month. Pages and pages of self-improvement schemes are clogging the cloud with their vision for change. Kate
Gosselin's straw head makeover is inexplicably everywhere including on CBS's morning show (here on
You Tube). President Obama finally took a little time to give the
Oval Office a makeover. The Internet would like to
inspire you to make over a room, or at least even just your magnets. You could
make over your mommy body or your
mental health. Perhaps it is time to make over your
career, (a la What Color is Your Parachute?) or your
wardrobe.
With all of these makeovers from which to choose, please don't forget something as obvious as the nose on your face: 2010 just might be the year for you to make over your labia.
Now, through the modern miracle of cosmetics, you can enhance your labia with a little makeover boost! Have you noticed your labia looking a bit pale this winter? A tad peaked? Or maybe your labia color is changing as you age?
A product called "
My New Pink Button," sold via Amazon Marketplace, advertises that it is the answer to your labia makeover needs. According to the
FAQ's posted on the My New Pink Button site, these little pots of blush for your girlie bits are revolutionary cosmetics for the labia sector:
Q. “I used to be so “Pink” and healthy looking on my inside Labia Lip area. Now I am losing that fresh look. Is there anything I can do”?
A. Yes, now there is a solution! “My New Pink Button” is a Cosmetic Dye especially for the woman's genital area, to help restore that healthy vibrant Rosy color. Until now there has never been a solution for restoring natural pigment. This is a concern with many women and more than you can even imagine, and a frequent question that Physicians are asked. Check out the blogs on the Internet. You are not alone! This is a common problem and we now have a simple and safe solution, restoring sexual confidence to Women everywhere!
The dye, otherwise known as "Cosmetic Labia re-Colorant," lasts 2-3 days. In addition to tinting your labia, My New Pink Button can also be used on nipples and male genitalia, which is thoughtful, because one-use products are not eco-friendly at all.
My New Pink Button isn't limited to pink, either: like other more traditional lipsticks, it comes in a (small) range of shades, including a pink, a rose, and two spicier colors. You can ask yourself "what season would I like my vaginal lips to be? Are they Autumns? Or perhaps they are simply Summers?" And bam, a new harvest moon could be rising. Although right now you need to do the swatch-shopping in your head, check out
Badgerbag's brilliant idea for enhancing their website functionality to include uploading a pic to try-on labial colors. Hours of fun!
Yes......who knew that as we age our labia lips change color and there is even a friggin color wheel that explains the different colors and how and why the lips change. Good God, it's like the Autumnal leaves changing colors. I couldn't believe it. They even have a dye called pink button so you can dye the damn thing. Trust me, even at my age, the drapes don't match the carpet and the carpet is slightly worn, but the lips............don't even go there. I just couldn't stop laughing. AND NO, I haven't checked my color, but I am convinced it is somewhere between a mauve and a gingersnap.
Of the four colors available, if I were shopping for a labia makeover I would probably go for Bettie, because the description of the Bettie color is my favorite:
This shade blends with a woman's own skin tones to bring out that "sexy hot pink, I am fired up, look". Go dancing this weekend and remember to bring "Bettie" along!
Now, actually, if you want to get a youthful feeling coursing through your labia, you would be better advised to, yes, go dancing, but instead of bringing My New Pink Button "Bettie" with you, find a Betty to come home with you. A Betty (or okay, if you must, a Bobby) who appreciates the glorious, diverse rainbow of natural labia colors fresh out of the box.
That will put
