What Every Couple Needs To Know About Sex

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Understanding sex is the first step in truly learning how to enjoy sexual experiences, and there are a few things couples need to understand about the actual acts of sex. These are especially important if sex is becoming boring, or if a couple's sex life is unsatisfying and leaving them feeling frustrated.

Image: Ian Dick via Flickr

Initiating Sex is Not The Only Way to Show Desire

Men and women tend to show their sexual desires differently. While men are considered proactive when it comes to sex, women are generally  considered to be more reactive. This means that men are often the ones who initiate sex, while women normally respond to the man's sexual advances. This can cause men to feel as if women only want to have sexual intercourse when they do. In reality, this is often not the case, as women can be as sexually proactive as men.

Sometimes, both society and hormones play a part in a woman's reluctance to initiate sex. Society has taught women that it is improper to engage a man first in sexual intercourse, while it has also taught men that it is their responsibility to make the first sexual move. It can also take a woman longer to become aroused and this difference in arousal time can lead to many misunderstandings between couples.

Understanding that men and women show desire differently is one of the first steps towards learning and understanding about sex.

Many Women Have Issues Reaching an Orgasm

Many women cannot reach an orgasm through intercourse alone, and this can cause sexual frustration in the relationship. A man reaches an orgasm usually through stimulation of his penis, where thousands of tiny nerve endings are stimulated. In a woman, these nerve endings are mainly located in her clitoris. This tiny nub is located at the top of her vagina, and becomes erect when aroused, much like a man's organ. To help a woman reach an orgasm, gently rub her clitoris on the surrounding areas. All women are different, so men should not be afraid to ask what feels best for her. Both men and women will be surprised at how satisfying their sex life can be when they both have an orgasm.

Know Your Turns Your Partner On and Off

Part of understanding sex is to know when a partner is putting the "brakes" on a sexual act. This usually means that they are not feeling aroused. This can happen if the situation or the location is uncomfortable. Other turn-offs can included trying to be sexually intimate when stress levels are high or emotions are unstable. Knowing the right time to be sexually aroused and intimate can help couples experience more intimate and fulfilling sex lives.

The Whole Body Can Be Sexual

It is not just the genital region that can experience sexual pleasure, but the entire human body can become sexually aroused. Not all couples feel desire in the same body parts, so some experimenting is normally needed. Other sexual areas can include the chest and breast areas, behind the ears and the knees. Some couples have feelings of intense sexual pleasure from small nibbles on the neck. If it feels good, and both partners are comfortable then there are no limits on the amount of pleasure that can be found on places other than the genitals.

Counseling Can Help

It is not uncommon for couples to have sexual difficulties at some point in a relationship. If this occurs, counseling may be an option. Sex therapy can help couples better understand themselves and their sexual relationship.

Understanding sex is key to having a healthy sexual relationship with a partner. While many couples are embarrassed to discuss sex with their partners, those who do often end up having more satisfying and fulfilling healthy sex lives.


Dorothy Oh

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