What Did You Call Me?

The term “Muppet” first appeared on the scene in 1956. Allegedly, Jim Henson combined the words “Marionette” and “puppet.” Although another source claims it was just something he liked the sound of, and he made up the “marionette/puppet” story while talking to a journalist because it sounded plausible. I’ll buy both versions.

At 6:26 a.m. on that fateful day in May, as medical personnel scurried about prepping an OR, Jon posted a cryptic status update on Facebook. “It’s time to play the music/It’s time to light the lights/It’s time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight!” 

The nickname stuck.

Several months after I returned to work, a former colleague stopped me mid-sentence. “Um, what are their names? I’ve only ever heard you refer to them as the muppets…” Well, what am I supposed to call them? “The Boys” had already been co-opted by our crazy dogs. I then started to wonder where all the various nicknames originated. 

Nicknames can be random or obvious. They may allude to an adorable attribute or be as far-fetched as an allusion to a childhood show by a severely sleep-deprived soon-to-be dad with a theme song stuck in his head. Additionally, Caden and Logan are two (very) individual personalities. But when referring to my children, it feels so impersonal to call them “the twins” - “muppets” is much more unique. Lots of people have twins (it seems to be the trend du jour), but not many people have muppets. (If you disagree with this particular brand of logic, well, I reject your reality and substitute my own thankyouverymuch.)

The muppets godmother readily admits introducing her child-self as, “Ivy Marie Depner, Girl” so everyone would know she was “a people, not a plant.” I decided to conduct a scientific survey (by asking people around me), “What do you call your kiddos?”

The big winners were based on looks - by far the most common nicknames are “peanut” and “pumpkin.” Clearly these babies were far chunkier than the muppets at birth. “Monkey” was a close runner up. Given Caden’s current proclivities for climbing and getting into the most mischief possible for someone with opposable thumbs, this is obviously an accurate depiction.

Nicknames for Multiples
Muppets - for when 27-weekers look like Statler and Waldorf
Pirates - two little 24-weekers, fighters on a mission to beat the odds
Twinkies - sweet siblings that taunt and tempt their mother
Honey-poos - sweet as honey and, let’s face it, twins produce a significant amount of poop
Kracken - this nickname belongs to triplets, I can only imagine the adventures in that house that must seem drug-induced
Two-tas - where IS that nice milk lady with all the deliciousness in her ta-tas? More please!
Pebbles and BamBam - have you ever seen twins interact with one another? BAM BAM BAM
Destruct-a-Cons - mobile twins (universally applicable)
Twindergarteners - sadly this nickname loses some potency once they become twinirst-graders (currently accepting applications for a more clever designation)
PEZ - a tasty candy, but also a convenient acronym for when you can’t get all the names straight
The Crazies - self-explanatory

Personality Descriptors
Noodle - a straight up and slippery kid when you try to hold her (tangent: the muppets laugh hysterically if you ask them if they’re “nooooodelly”)
Tank - mini-me on a mission, head down with a growling soundtrack as the kid crawls through everything in her path
Bug - tiny NICU resident curled up like a pill bug in a failed attempt to avoid wires and poking
Monkey-Moo - upset to be left alone, a sobbing infant cry of “ma-ma-ma moooooo” carried through the house (I am guessing the little primate then climbed up and out of his crib)
Fairy - former nickname, discontinued for PC reasons
Boogs - a polite version of Snot Ball because of endless nose picking

Appearances Can Be Deceiving
Pudge - for the child who simply can’t get enough and ends up extra squeezable
Chunky Monkey - loves dairy, LOVES dairy, and will likely be a Ben and Jerry’s fan once teeth are procured
Fat Boy - baby of a biker dad that is, well, fat (baby or dad - whichever works for your imagination)
Chunk-King - rub his little Buddah belly for luck or laughter
Narwhal Baby - for the peanut baby with one tooth displayed for an extended duration

Parent Hallucinating About Tasty Vitals (due to post-“I just had multiple babies” pregnancy diet)
Cheesecake, Sweet Potato, Pumpkin Pie, Apple Pie, Oatmeal, Sweet Pea, Angel Pie

And now let's get things started
Why don't you get things started
It's time to get things started
On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational
This is what we call the Muppet Show!


What do you call your kiddos? And how did the moniker come about? 


"It's double the giggles and double the grins, and double the trouble if you're blessed with twins." Follow our adventures at www.streamdoubletrouble.com

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