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What do you do when the mom that has held you together all of your life has cancer? When that evil disease has invaded her entire body, and you watch her change over night from a woman that could do anything, full of energy, full of life, hope, faith, love and determination, start to sink down in her chair from low energy, not able to get her breath, and pain??? I don't know what to do,I can barely go around cause I can't seem to hold it together, just when she needs me, I can't keep from crying thinking about how sick she's getting, she is everything to me, I don't want to lose her, I can't lose her!!!! What will me and my oldest daughter do if something happens to mommy she is always there, she is the only person that cares for me and Raina, Raina is so close to her Nanny, I just don't know how to get through this, I don't know how to be, I feel so lost. There's nothing I can do to help her, there's nothing I can do to make it go away. I hate this feeling, I want to be able to fix things, to make the pain go away like I do if something is hurting one of my girls, I think about what the future can hold and it scares me so much, I don't know what I have to face in this world, and I don't want to face my future without her. I just can't imagine not being able to call her or go to her when I am unsure about the girls or if something is wrong with them and I don't know what it is, my mom always does!!! I hate cancer, its evil, its take the people we love and destroys them right in front of us, and laughs at us because it knows there's nothing we can do. I know there's a cure out there, and God help the people that do everything in their power to keep it hidden, for the pain they cause, for the lives they have stolen it will come back on the 7 fold!!! What do you do when there's nothing you can do?
