The term "mommyblogger" has been deconstructed at length in the parenting blogosphere and beyond. Some think the term fits, and others don't. Either way, it seems to be a loaded word likely to generate more discussion.
Author, speaker and blogger Meagan Francis has written a compelling article on the subject. She recounts a recent press trip she took, in which the title on her press pass read "mommyblogger".
I cringed, then felt indignant. Mommy blogger? That’s what I am? Not a published writer, not a blogger who happens to cover motherhood in addition to other topics. Just…mommy blogger. For one thing, I don’t even LIKE the word “mommy”…it’s always felt kind of smarmy and whiny to me, and it’s more of an affectionate title used by young children than a descriptive term. Used in conjunction with “blogger”–and written on the line that would usually indicate my credentials–it felt almost like an insult.
Many women bloggers share Meagan's frustration. Speaking personally, I don't mind being aligned with a certain genre of blogging (if I were writing about celebrities, I'd expect to be classified as an entertainment blogger). Most of what I write, after all, centers around parenting and home management. But I prefer "parenting blogger" or "family blogger" or even "mom blogger" as the title. I wonder if "mommy" blogger, in addition to a tone that some interpret as dismissive, simply leaves out moms of children too old to use the term "mommy". (And I should point out, in the interest of full disclosure, that I make that statement writing as a BlogHer contributing editor in the Mommy/Family category).
But what about the women bloggers who aren't blogging mostly about parenting? JoAnne of PunditMom (who writes primarily about politics) wrote:
So many women who write blogs get labeled in a dismissive way as "mommy bloggers." And while it sure would be nice for some more of us to make a few dollars from this writing, as the major sites do, that's not why we're out here.
Sunshine at The Pursuit of Happiness shared a similar frustration:
I've never thought of myself as a "mommyblogger" since the kids comprise a smaller rather than larger percentage of my post topics. I'm more a "mom who blogs" and I deplore the term mommyblogger anyway because I think it is largely used in a condescending and judgmental way by mainstream media. Yeah, I have kids and I have a blog. So what? You got a problem with that, you can click your little self right on outta here.
Karoli of Odd Time Signatures took a different perspective:
The value of a term like mommyblogger is this: It identifies a very powerful and vocal demographic — a group of thinking, tech-savvy, engaged women. Women committed today to raising their kids, but also raising their kids in the context of what it means to live in today’s world. Working moms, stay at home moms, self-employed moms, writer moms, political moms, religious moms, moms coping with autism, moms knitting, military moms, moms coping with their own illness while raising their kids — the gamut. Moms committed to community, both virtual and ‘real-life’, to others, and to service. That’s who you are, that’s who mommybloggers are.
I suspect that some might dismiss this discussion as an over-analysis of semantics, though it would be fair to remember that bloggers--whose very business is, after all, the written word--are geared toward examining semantics. Consider, in closing, this thought by Meagan Francis:
I’m not generally one to get my knickers in a knot over terminology. Though I can see why it might bother some, I really don’t care if somebody calls me “hon” or “girl”. But “mommyblogger” gets me fired up, maybe partly because it just seems to be used so unquestioningly. I wonder why we accept this term so readily and why there doesn’t seem to be more debate over it (maybe there already was and I missed it?)
Shannon Lowe is a BlogHer contributing editor (Mommy/Family), and she blogs at Rocks In My Dryer and The Parenting Post.
Comments
They deserve a better title
I can understand the perturbed feelings one may experience towards the term "mommyblogger". Not because I am one; in fact, I'm as barren as they come, but because it sounds less credible and almost as if every word in the post will be simple and child-like. Mommies, to me, speak in baby talk or simple language, since children who say mommy are toddlers or early childhood. Moms or mothers speak clearly, with authority and understanding, and with an overall tone of sagacity. Even though one who blogs may very well indeed be a mother of small children, the adults who read your blog probably are not going to say "Aww, she's a mommy!"; rather, "She's a mother", that is unless one is labeled 'mommyblogger'.
Our society is on the brinkof using/is a heavy user of strange nomenclature. Brangelina, anyone?
Caryn
I'm not a fan of the term.
But if that's what you want to call me, so be it. I've been called worse. *lol*
I think that it definitely taken on a negative connotation, and I'd much rather just be called a blogger, or the ever stated 'blogger that happens to be a mom'. But there's nothing wrong with being a mommy blogger.
I am trying to embrace the term, and realize that there is more to my blog than that, but even if there wasn't; that'd be ok too. :)
- Maria
http://immoralmatriarch.com
I'm a Blogger (and also a Mom)
I personally don't like this term either. Even though I write about my experience as a single mom, I think this term is damaging in many ways.
The name of my site has the word parenting included for a reason. I want my site to be read by both men and women, grandparents, etc. who are parenting in a different way than perhaps I am.
If you check out my site, you'll see that I talk about fashion, design, relationships, health, sex and psychology. I created the site with my parenting hat on, of course, but that's not the main focus of what I write about.
Many "daddy bloggers" are being left behind when it comes to so many things. Even, for example, BlogHer or CafeMom which blatantly leave out the men in the title of the sites. CafeMom, in particular, is proud to include, "No Men Allowed," in their advertisements - a site I have never visited.
All are welcome on my site and I don't want my title as a mommy blogger to narrow people's visions of me, or what I write about. That being said, I think there are amazing writters who blog - who just so happen to be Moms that embrace this term.
I'm going to continue to support mommybloggers of all shapes and size! Good writers are good writers and I look forward to discovering more of them!
Name Tags
Is there enough space on a nametag for:
Post-menopausal, Baby Boomer, Senior Citizen, Empty Nest Blogger?
Suzanne, the Farmer's Wife
Does the label help or hurt you reach your
audience?
When I was at an arts residency in June one of the visual artists asked me, as a writer, if I was bothered by the label Chick Lit. I see merit with the arguments for and against that moniker as well as the "mommy blogger" one.
I honestly think it boils down to reaching an audience, which is why we write and blog. The novel I'm revising now is Chick Lit, but I wouldn't call myself a mommy blogger even though my children occasionally get mentioned in my blog. Either term is going to draw more people to me rather than away from me however. Chicks and moms are my main audience, so I'm okay with the labels. Sure they're not the best at describing my body of work, but they're better than "worst blogger/writer I ever read."
Uh, no thanks.
When I named my blog I initially thought my "Therapy on a Budget" would largely consist of horrific tales of motherhood. Then I realized my kids don't make me as crazy as I think they do. In fact, as they get older, they do less and less that makes me want to sit in a corner and hum "The Chipmunk Song" for hours on end (not including son's recent 'time out that never ends' or daughter's asthma attack).
I find I write more and more about life in general. Work. Marriage. My neurotic thoughts.
I think "Mommy Blogger" does in a way almost limit what other's would see as somebody's potential, to the realms of events associated with being a Mommy.
It would be like saying, "He's a Daddy-accountant, she's a Mommy-lawyer, he's a Daddy-editor, etc". One thing has nothing to do with the other.
Plus, I rebel against labels. And being told what to do. Also, speed limits. But, that's just me.
http://whymomdrinksrum.blogspot.com/
Conventional motherhood? You bet it includes rum!
Just don't call me "Late to dinner!"
Even if the connotation is negative, it's a valid keyword. Mommyblog is what PR companies search for - so it helps me when it comes to advertising and review offers.
I figure I've been called worse, and I am a mommy and a blogger. People would judge and fret and worry no matter what the word was. Momblogger, bloggingmommy - any mashup would end up having a negative connotation.
Why?
Because mommies are supposed to, you know, be in the kitchen cooking. Not writing about events, politics, tech, and other things. Don't we have babies to nurse? Children to raise? Better things to do than blog? Who do we think we are, anyway!
So, I embrace it. Call me what you will, my voice will be heard.
jennydecki
Beyond Mom Blog
Term of endearment not for everyone
Personally, I'm not fond of "mommy blogger" for a title on press passes or as an acknowledgement in any form of publicity stint because it is every limiting and doesn't give a full overview of the woman, the mother, or the blogger. And depending on who interpets that tag, it can be condescending.
But I have to say this, "It's a cute term of endearment" that brings a smile to my heart because it implies that the blogger cares about her children, not just her business.
Alyice Edrich is a freelance writer, blogger, and editor of www.thedabblingmum.com
I am someone outside of
I am someone outside of that genre of blogging, and I find the term mommy blogger a little offensive. Maybe it's because I generally hear the term used with such negative connotation. So is really the term or the connotation of the term that bothers me? I don't know.
Maybe On The Fence
My tagline reads...Musings of A Dot Mom™ Mogul (yeah that's trademarked folks don't go grabbing it), I'm a life coach, a financial planner and a mom. I blog. Does the fact that I'm a mom and blog make me a mommy blogger? Maybe. It doesn't offend me to be ranked in the genre certainly. Though the word "mommy" certainly brings to mind some less than "businesslike" pictures. Would I do away with the title "mommy blogger" No. The phrase has come to define a powerful demographic, a group of women, from one end of the spectrum to the other who are work at home moms, stay at home moms, executive moms and more. So, say what you like, I'm a mommy blogger, I'm dealing with it. And I like it.
I Really Don't Care
Maybe I should, but I don't. There are much worse things that I've been called as a Black person and as a woman. The thing is... when I care about something, I REALLY care about it, so I try to limit the "issues" that I get caught up in.
Besides, my kids call me "mommy" sometimes and I started blogging as an "outlet" while staying at home with them. I can see why some bloggers would be offended/feel demeaned by the title. Personally, I don't...being a "mommy" is one of the greatest joys of my life!
Kimberly/Mom in the City
http://www.mominthecity.com/
I am a supreme awesome
I am a supreme awesome woman-mom who blogs but for short you can call me a mommyblogger. Tags like this, I think, are only negative if we feed into those who spin it towards the negative. What those negative people fail to grasp is their are so many moms, from all walks of life, with different opinions and ideas that blog. The idea that all we write about is laundry and potty-training(which I have) is the myth that needs to be shattered!
~Susan
http://lilmomthatcould.com/
MomBlogger Weighs In
I blog, and I am a Mom, no longer a Mommie as the boys are teens now. But I do feel that this might be a semantic issue, as is often the case. "Mommie" which sounds cute and lovely coming at you from your toddler, might not have the same effect in the halls of corporate settings. It almost sounds diminutive, sweetening something already very sweet. Like those waitresses that make their voice go up a few octaves?
When I first started blogging, I thought all my posts on MomBlog needed to be about diapers and lullabies. I have since learned that there's lot's to say, from someone who blogs, and happens to be a Mom.
http://lulu-momblog.blogspot.com/
sorry, link button not working.
Great post, Shannon!
Thanks for writing about this issue--and the discussion in the comments is enlightening. For the record, I don't mind what anyone else chooses to call themselves; I just don't like having the term applied to me, as its not the way I think of myself. I much prefer mom blogger or parenting blogger--which is just a personal preference, but I think it's less-loaded language that would get across the same point without the same risk of alienating some of us and possibly sounding dismissive to others.
It's a badge of honor
Are you sure it's dismissive? I'm not so sure. To me, the label of "mommy blogger" signifies POWER. The media loves mommy bloggers, and to me that's a good thing, because it creates financial opportunities.
I am as feminist as it gets, but in this case, I really don't think it's dismissive unless we allow it to be.
Vered DeLeeuw
http://momgrind.com/
Dismissiveness...
To bloggers, maybe it's empowering. To others looking in, I'm not so sure. I've polled people I know who don't blog, or who occasionally read blogs but aren't involved in the community. Overwhelmingly, the reaction I got to the word "mommyblogger" was negative. "It sounds silly" said one.
It's all good!
To each their own I say! When you are a new mom... Mommyblogger is probably exciting because you are now part of said group. But for moms who have been at it for awhile... probably not so much. KWIM?
I don't really think it's negative though. It's just a name. It is what it is.
I Don't Like Labels
I don't always like labels....Mommyblogger, Single Mom, Divorcee.....bottom line, I am a woman who has a passion for writing, who is a single Mom of 5 awesome children. I'm a woman who blogs....moreoever, a person who blogs. Mommy is just one part of me, an important part no doubt, but it doesn't define who I am.
Cheryl
http://dailyblonde.blogspot.com
Proud Mommy Blogger
I am a proud mommy blogger. But, that's just who I am. Being a mommy is what defines me right now. My first son is 8 months old, so I'm still reveling in my newfound mommy-ness. My blog is mostly about my son, too, and not much else, so I would not be offended in the least to be called a mommy blogger. But I understand why someone else might. :)
A little history: BlogHer and the term
"Mommy"
Hi everyone,
Shannon, great post! It's a topic only slightly older than motherhood, if you ask me. :) I'd like to share a little BlogHer ancient history that tells the story of why BlogHer.com currently uses the phrase "Mommy & Family." For now that is, because we are always examining the terms we use and are very open to discussion.
Here goes:
1. In Spring 2005, as Elisa, Jory and I were planning the first-ever BlogHer Conference, we began hearing lots of buzz about "mommyblogging." So we invited Jenny Lauck, Jennifer Satterwhite and Megan Townsend to hold a Room of Your Own panel called 'Mommyblogging.' They knew a ton about it. We didn't. A very popular discussion ensued.
Then, at the closing community keynote, Alice Bradley of Finslippy raised her hand and uttered her now-zillion-times-repeated phrase: "Mommyblogging is a radical act!" bringing down the house. (Alice elaborated on the theme in 2006 on this site.)
2. In October of 2005, the the results of the first BlogHer Post-Conference Survey were released. In this survey, we asked our 300+ attendees to, among other things, tell us what topics they were blogging about. Most attendees selected multiple, diverse topics, but what really surprised us was the response to these categories:
Family: 28%
Other, Specify: 36% (Note: A number of attendees here requested a Mommyblogging category - "Family" wasn't the preferred category)
3. So we thought and we thought and asked ourselves, "Who are we to decide the best answer?" On January 30, 2006, we retired our little starter-blog and launched the first-ever BlogHer.com site, using the compromise term "Mommy & Family" for that topic area. And that is the phrase we have used ever since.
So you see, the discussion of which term to use to describe women who blog about their progeny -- "Mommy," "Mom," "Mutha," "Parenting," "Family" -- is a solid three-plus years old for us, and the factions are as diverse as our network. I see so many facets of this ongoing discussion reflected above.
What to do? We continue to ask you. As the only BlogHer with children, biological and not (Step-Mutha-Mommy-Blogga anyone?), I default to where Jory and Elisa go as well: We seek to use a compromise term on our site that creates the biggest umbrella for as many women to feel comfortable sharing their opinions as possible.
And that is why we recently were so happy to welcome Midlife Muse, on board to blog about life at its middle stage, just as two years ago we were so happy to welcome Zandria to BlogHer to write about living the single life sans kids. After all, if there's one thing harder in this society than having kids, it has GOT to be being a woman who doesn't have kids -- either now or ever. And you can find those discussions here too.
Looking forward to your thoughts...
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette
And we are off....
I am not sure if I am thrilled to see that this is still being talked about after several years or if I want to bang my head on the desk because this is still being talked about several years later.
To add to what Lisa said, in that first session this was a huge topic. Hate the term or love it? Embrace it or shun it? Many hated it but many also walked away deciding to reclaim it--much like the word bitch. I am mommyblogger, hear me roar! Call me what you want but I won't let you define who I am by your "word" that you mean to be demeaning. I think a lot of that still applies.
Obviously with a personal blog with the word mommy in it and a founder of Mommybloggers, the phrase doesn't freak me out or demean me or make me feel less than.
I have teenagers. Trust me when I tell you that they most definitely do not call me Mommy. My 7 year old barely does.
I don't write all about my children. I don't have a "typcial" mommyblog (is there such thing?) that focuses only on my kids. I write about addiction, writing, freelance work, PTA, sex and the random silliness of my own life. However, after almost 6 years blogging, it is my brand. I am not about to change it over a word.
I enjoy reading responses to this question. Honestly, they are very much like the ones we heard in 2005.
I am pretty sure that Alice's comment about mommyblogging came shortly after someone else made an inference that we need to be doing things that are more global and more radical with our blogs. To that, our beloved Alice stood up and proclaimed that Mommyblogging is a radical act. (At least that is how I remember it all.)
Mommyblogger, Mom blogger, Parent Blogger, Women who has children and writes on the web this thing called a blog....call me whatever. Because this mommyblogger is going to keep on writing no matter what you call me.
~Jennifer Satterwhite~
Personal blog: Mommy Needs Coffee
Founder group blog: Mommybloggers
Yes, Jenn, that's how I remember it as well!
Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette
It's not a problem for me
I love the fact that mommy bloggers have gained the attention of marketing departments. The name isn't a problem for me.
Dawn
My Home Sweet Home
I have come to equate the
I have come to equate the term "mommyblogger" with "fat cash cow for marketers to exploit." I don't care for it. I was a woman before I was a mother, and I will always be a mother now, but someday my kids are going to fly the coop and I will still be myself, a woman who writes about her life (and possibly still blogs).
SJ also writes at I, Asshole.
I'll own it
I don't mind being called a mommy blogger. Although, I think many people have a problem with it because it makes them feel like they are being stereotyped. Everyone has their own reasons for blogging and every "mommy-blog" has something unique to offer. I feel honored to be a part of it.
I prefer the term "Mama Blogga"
Mommy Bloggers unite and stand proud! I am a SAHM and some women find that role as demeaning as the term "mommyblogger". I am a mom who blogs, but I am also a woman who realizes that there is a world outside my children.
http://denisermt.wordpress.com/
wow.
Not sure I even have anything to say here given all everyone already has posted, except to add that as a NON-mommy and therefore NONmommyblogger, I'm offended for a few reasons...
1) is the one everyone is citing... if and when I become a mom, I want to still be me - published journalist including time as a business (whaaa? girls can write about MONEY?? ;) ) reporter, novel writer, poet, blogger, educated woman, sister, friend, wife etc. I'd be proud to be a mom, but in work I'm not sure my mommydom would be any more relevant than my sisterdom or wifedom or ex-girlfriend-to-the-psycho-psycho-bf-dom.
but... 2) I'm not a mommy. "Am I not a woman?" Do I not count? Is my personal life and its frustrations, successes , joys, tears not worthy? not as important as mommies' concern, even among my fellow women bloggers? It hurts a little to be excluded. Recently here on blogher I cam across a slew of women who AREN'T mommies who are among my faves and we're forming our own little community (or rather I'm subscribing to their blogs, friending them more because their blogs speak to me more). I see that as a good thing, as I would mommies befriending mommies but to define ALL female bloggers as mommybloggers, well that's just a double-whammy of hurt and offense. I am (for now) not a mom by choice, but others CAN"T be mommies or are struggling with becoming mommies - I worry about the slap in the face everytime I see a headline or post or hear a media piece referring to any woman writer as mommy.
Shannon , was it you who went on the infamous Kathy Lee show talking about being a mommyblogger? That was one of the first posts I read on blogher. I loved it and it sparked the next few months of digging through your most wonderful site. These are good questions and like the post-modernist-esque response I saw from many of you on "hottest female bloggers", this kind of talking about mommyblogging is the best way to decide how WE feel and then proceed from there. proud to be among you.
washy || http://washwords.wordpress.com || washwords.dc@gmail.com
The label limits
As with most labels, I think the mommyblogging label is limiting. I cringe when I hear it, and I don't want to claim it (even though I am a mom, and I do - at times - write about being a mom). I also think it is media and mass marketing driven, and while that can be a powerful thing certainly, it isn't always genuine or enveloping of the complexities. And the complexities are what makes it interesting!
Notions of Identity
What's in a name?
I think some confusion comes from the way several parent bloggers choose to name their blogs. So many pick the name "mom" or some variation thereof for their sites and pseudonyms. Beside the fact that it's redundant it probably adds to advertisers and the general public to categorize those writers based on their name alone. Heather B.Personal Blog: No Pasa NadaBlogHer CE: Business, Career & Personal Finance
Here's the Thing About the MommyBlogger Label
Like Zoe, I'm outside that genre. Don't have kids, don't want 'em,
love yours, don't want to read about them. So if you're pigeonholed as
a mommyblogger, odds are good I'm never going to read you. If you're selling yourself as a mommyblogger, or someone else is, I'm not going to click.
That is, potentially, a shame. You could be a terrific writer, a stellar photographer, someone who writes truly amazing blog posts. But you've been packaged in way that holds zero appeal for me.
I'm SO not dissing the genre, it's just not for me - just like you may never be interested in getting outside the perimiter of your property. There's room for your POV,but if you don't want to be branded that way and/or you are that plus so many other interesting things, you may be missing out on connecting with people who might really enjoy knowing you.
And that's a shame.
Nerd's Eye View